OUR story about daft questions Viking that re-enactors are asked, reminds Jennie Hood in Shawlands of the show she did at Linlithgow Palace this year as part of the Homecoming celebrations.

Two wee boys walked past their medieval camp, looked at the camp fire, and one asked the other: "Why are they cooking wood?"

Slippery slope IAN McLaren and his son visited Dunoon this week on the paddle steamer Waverley. It was a typical day of sunshine and light showers.

To try to make Dunoon seem attractive, he had promised his son a game of putting, but when he arrived at the putting green he was told that the course was closed for health and safety reasons because the grass was wet.

"Welcome to Scotland," he thought.

Without a leg to stand on SAD to see the death of broadcaster Steve Hamilton, the first DJ heard on Radio Forth, and off-screen Wheel of Fortune announcer. Steve, who held masterclasses for fledgling broadcasters, once told his pupils that even the most skilled public speaker can be lost for words - and gave the example of hosting a Radio Forth show from a local hospital where he cheerily asked a patient: "Back on your feet again soon?"

"No, I've just had my legs amputated," the patient replied.

A tribute show to Steve will be broadcast on Scottish-based station Radio Six International on Sunday - the station perhaps better known for its Saturday night soul programme hosted by former Diarist David Belcher.

Good and bad news A MILNGAVIE reader was watching the tea-time news with his mother the other night when his mum asked the pertinent question: "Why do they begin with good evening' when they then go on and tell you why it isn't?"

It's nice to be nice A GLASGOW reader back from New York witnessed the legendary New Yorkers' abruptness when he heard a sales lady say to a customer: "Have a nice day," and the retreating, irritated, shopper replied: "I've already made other plans."

Winning mentality THE Scottish Premier League begins in earnest tomorrow after weeks of friendlies. One young daughter was asking her dad the other day if friendlies actually mattered.

"Only if you win," he sagely replied.

Miner hiccup OUR story about the lamentable excessive drinking of Scots reminds an Ayrshire reader of the New Cumnock miner who went to his GP. When asked what the trouble was, the miner replied: "Ah'm no weil doctur - ah could only sink 12 pints oan Setterday nicht afore ah collapsed."

Tracks of his years IT seems there is no stopping Bob Dylan after his long-awaited album release this year. Music magazine Uncut claims he is working on an album to be released at Christmas which will include some festive tracks.

Naturally fans have speculated on what they might be, including: Sleigh, Lady Sleigh. A Hard Reindeer's A-Gonna Fall. Eggnog noggin' On Heaven's Door. Snowin' In the Wind. And - our personal favourite - The Gifts They Are Exchanging.