Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?

Not the woman with glitter on her face. "Too sparkly," says mirror, who is offended by the dazzling fragments on her cheeks. "Your face looks like a disco ball." Mirror, it would seem, is not pleased.

As is the woman standing in front of it. "But mirror, my skin is dull and pallid," she cries. "What do you suggest I should use to remedy that?"

Mirror pauses for a moment. "Hang on," it sighs. "I need to find out what's in style."

With that, mirror turns away to consult his spring/summer 2012 style bibles. He spots girls with ruby-red lips to match their slippers, and eyeshadows in pinks, peaches and yellows. Glitter is nowhere to be seen.

He flicks the page one more time, hoping to find an answer. He spots the solution: a model wearing the most subtle of shimmers.

Mirror turns back to the lady. "Dear woman, you need to apply shimmering beauty products – they're the thing for you."

The woman looks confused. "Surely there's no difference between glitter and shimmer," she says. "Why do you insist on confusing me?"

"Glitter, dear, is harsh and gaudy; shimmer is flattering for face and body," replies mirror.

Try these shimmering suggestions: Estee Lauder Pink Ingenue Blusher, on sale next month (£24); Boots 17 Pink Bronze Shimmer Brick (£4.99); and Bobbi Brown Brightening Finishing Powder (£40).