When the starters arrive in portions which reveal they really weren’t kidding when they called them small plates we’re momentarily underwhelmed. Somehow they just look puny, compared to their menu billing anyway. I dunno why. 

It’s one of the immutable laws of restaurant physics that wherever the phrase small plates comes into force then there is an opposite and equal and always invisible force called Big Bills. 

“London prices,” I say to Joe and Nicola in that pompous food critic way I’ve tried to polish over the years. And then remember that it’s actually usually cheaper nowadays in London than Glasgow.

“Is it not Buenos Aires prices anyway?” asks Joe as we politely share smoked haddock croquettes with manchego and paper-thin yerba smoked beef.

We laugh out loud, frankly, at the pitiful size of the Argentinian flatbread with sweet onion, mozzarella and oregano. “Is it £5.25 for this? It’s like a malnourished pitta bread.”

The £7 yerba is gone in moments and not just because it’s so finely sliced that a badly timed sneeze would clear the plate but because the soy, wasabi and, I think, lingering cumin undertones are pretty nice. 

Then there’s the croquettes. Croquettes are pretty much the sum total of the Netherlands’ contribution to world cuisine, and I notice with glee via the internet that Cau not only has a branch in Amsterdam but the prices there actually seem lower than here.

A-ha, but these are oozy, crispy, light and moreish. That flat bread? Swiftly gone in pleasant little crispy, cheesy, sweet-oniony micro-mouthfuls. While the anti-cuchos chicken skewers, described as one of South America’s “best-kept secrets” in the world’s most overused cliche, are eaten in four bites that I can’t help noticing are nearly £1.70 each.

Enough about the money, save to say that in our banter with the waiter, who is a nice, smiley, relaxed guy, we order steaks on the basis of one cheap and one expensive. 

But let’s pause before the next course to briefly consider the way Cau looks. Somehow I was expecting artificial grass floors and blue sky wallpaper, which was apparently the theme when the chain started in 2011.

The Glasgow version is all soaring glass, black and shiny bits and, given that very high ceiling, rather chilly tonight. Nicola actually shivers under a shawl while Joe reveals he’s wearing his long johns. Luckily. 

Those steaks, then? Are they Argentinian or simply Argentinian themed? It doesn’t matter except the fashion on the continent, in Spain or France, say, is to give customers a choice of steaks from different countries: Argentina, the US, Scotland, because steaks travel well, and Argentinian steaks are generally considered to be very good.

I don’t know is the answer to the provenance question. On to 220g of tapa de cuadril, then. It’s £14.95 for a top rump – wait for that cliche – “signature dish” that is the size of those very thin pork fillets they sell in supermarkets.While it doesn’t exactly melt in the mouth as promised it is heavily marinated and packed full of salty, sweet and charring flavours. I like it. 

There’s a pasta, a ragu actually, with lots of salty ricotta and heavy cut beef that is fine and then we come to the more expensive asado choriz. A hunk of sirloin heavily doused in smoked paprika, garlic and chilli and served crisp, it almost cracks when cut, and is dark and attractive. Unfortunately, this is the worst dish of the night. The meat is chewy and there’s a significant band of thick gristle which has been hidden by all that coating. 

Triple-cooked chips are actually half-cut roast potatoes, thin cooked chips are merely OK and there’s a no more than reasonable broccoli with chilli.

Cau started well, but became duller as the meal progressed, though it’s still one of the better chains.

Cau

224 Ingram Street, Glasgow (0141 221 6272)

Menu Argentinian-themed steak restaurant with a heavy meat bias and some unusual – to us anyway – steaks. 4/5

Atmosphere Chic glass and black plastic emporium of meat that can just be a little too cold for some tastes. 4/5

Service It couldn’t really be faulted. Friendly, relaxed and chatty. Also, importantly, didn’t overdo the upselling. 5/5

Price The sting is in the starter or small plates prices which are at London levels, and you can spend as much as you want on a steak. 3/5

Food The yerba beef starter and the croquettes were the stand out dishes. The tapa De Cuadril a light, tasty steak dish. The rest so-so. 6/10

Total 22/30