Val, 63, and Eric Jarvis, 66, East Kilbride
Val: Everyone said we were too young to get married – I was 18, Eric was 21. They thought we hadn’t lived but we thought – why wait? I wasn’t pregnant, which is what everyone assumed – we were just in love. When his mother told me she thought we were too young, I said we would just live together, and she slapped my face. I was in shock. After that, I got along fine with my mother-in-law – she even made my wedding dress.
We have four grown-up children and 10 grandchildren, ranging in age from four weeks to 16 years. They keep us young.
When Eric was made redundant from Rolls-Royce when he was 59 he called me at work (I worked for the Inland Revenue at Centre One in East Kilbride). I put down the phone and handed my notice in instantly. Why wouldn’t I? Eric was going to be at home, so I wanted to be with him and do all the things that we wanted to do. We decided to become part of the SKI set – that’s Spending the Kids’ Inheritance.
Eric bought me a train set for Christmas. I’ve always wanted one, because I never had one as a child and our boys preferred Scalextric to trains. He’s thoughtful, and kind, and listens to me. That’s why our marriage is still going strong after 45 years.
It’s all about communication. We talk about everything. We have had difficult times – I wasn’t well for a while with arthritis, and we have both lost family members who were close to us. But we talk to each other about everything. And we never say things to each other in anger, as those are the things that can’t be taken back.
Eric: We met at the local youth club in East Kilbride, when Val was 15 and I was 18. I was an apprentice toolmaker, so we lived in Birmingham for a while, but came back to our home town where we have lived ever since.
We got married on December 5, 1970. Val was a bit late because she forgot her bouquet but, to be honest, I was still a bit drunk from my stag do the night before, so I didn’t really notice. We didn’t want a big fancy wedding, but my mother wanted me to be smart. She told me I had to cut my hair or wear a dinner suit. I went for the suit.
Val and I do most things together – our big passion is travelling all over the country in our motorhome. We joined an active over-50s club, too, to play badminton and volleyball, which is fun.
I’m a half-full kind of person, Val is half-empty. She is the practical one, I’m the dreamer. Once, I questioned her household budgeting and she handed it all over to me. It ended with the bank manager phoning and telling her to take the cheque book off me.
We’re both quite calm people, not fiery at all, so we don’t really have big fights. I’m much more patient than Val though – she can’t do jigsaws.
It’s hard to define what true love is. It’s a mix of tolerance and romance and remembering that although you are a couple, you are also two separate people, and you should never force your will or opinion on the other. We laugh a lot too. Out on the road in the van, going for walks in our wellies with our Yorkie Molly, buying each other daft presents, always laughing. That sums us up.
Ann Fotheringham
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