FATHER'S Day yesterday, and Tom Jamieson's experience was probably replicated around the country.

He tells us: "The day started with me having to get up and stop a screaming war between my two daughters who were arguing about who should make my breakfast so that I didn't have to get up."

And we always liked comedian Gary Delaney who once remarked: "Wondering who gave you a card on Valentine's Day? Good. Wondering who gave you a card on Father's Day? Bad."

A COLLEAGUE also wanders over to tell us: "You should have got your own back on the kids by going in and waking them at three in the morning and excitedly asking them if you can open your Father's Day gifts yet."

And a message comes from a reader just after nine yesterday morning. He relates: "My wife just shouted, 'Can you strip the bed when you get up?' so I think Father's Day is finished now."

BIG show in Glasgow last week was Elton John at the Hydro, belting out all his great hits. It was a great night, best summed up in that West of Scotland way by a woman from Balloch who told her pals on social media before the concert: "Canny believe am gonnae rock up tae Elton John wi' ma maw 'n' her pals, then get steaming' in some Glasgow pubs wi' them. Am actually 40."

TALKING of social media, sports commentator Gary Lineker summed up the pre football season ennui for his 4m followers by posting at the weekend: "These Saturdays without football are a bit crap." Liverpool comedian John Bishop adroitly took advantage by replying: "With no Match of the Day, that's why you should watch The John Bishop Show at 9.45 on BBC 1." We like a trier.

IT'S the 40th anniversary of the release of that memorable film Jaws. Actor Richard Dreyfuss was having a good laugh recalling the making of the film, and joked: "Jaws was originally a biopic about the man who invented braces, but it tested poorly, so we added the shark in reshoots.

"At the premier I turned to Steven Spielberg and whispered, 'What the hell is this music? What happened to the good music?'"

A READER watched the weekend telly programme Saturday Kitchen and opined: "I see it's cooking again. When are they going to stick a wash on, or do a bit of floor mopping?"

WELL, saying it's not being a great June weatherise would be a bit of an understatement. A Glasgow reader tells us: "I was looking at the weather forecast on my iPhone the other day, and I actually got excited about the fact that every hour that day was a picture of a cloud but at six that evening the picture was of a little bit of sun sticking out of the cloud and I was really looking forward to it."

STRESSFUL time for many. A south side reader felt the chap's pain as he heard a fellow commuter on the train into Glasgow tell his travelling companion: "I don't know about you, but I've thought about running away more as an adult than I ever did as a child."

WE like Herald readers being helpful. One gets in touch to say: "Have ordered a chicken and an egg from Tesco on-line. Will let you know."

AND finally from Father's Day we pass on from American motivational speaker Greg Tamblyn who says: "For Father's Day we got my dad a t-shirt that says 'Do Not Resuscitate'. He wears it whenever mom takes him to the ballet."

Pic capt:

A reader sends us this picture of a store in China, and wonders what message the owners are trying to convey.