WE CAN look forward to some over-the-ball tackles and general dirty

play in Scottish TV's new quiz show, A Game of Two Halves, which begins

a week on Thursday.

The approach and format is not entirely dissimilar to BBC2's popular

and slightly risque Have I Got News For You. The two team captains are

Tony Roper and Denis Law, with Scotsport presenter Jim White in the

middle.

A typical exchange is when Roper throws in, a propos of not a lot,

that former Morton and Celtic favourite Andy Ritchie was known to his

team-mates by the nickname M'bosa. The logic behind the choice of

cognomen escapes Law for almost the entire programme, showing either

he's not as quick as he used to be on the park, or that he had a very

sheltered upbringing.

Andy Goram, appearing as a guest, has to suffer a reference to why he

earned the nickname Silkie. The panelists are shown four photographs --

a Hibs jersey, a Rangers jersey, a Hearts jersey, and a pair of women's

knickers -- and asked to pick the odd one out. The answer, of course, is

that Andy has never worn a Hearts jersey.

White, I am told, emerges from the series as a man with a sense of

honour. Although it could be said that he has taken pastiche to the

point of parody (or vice-versa) and has assumed the persona created for

him by the Only an Excuse sports comedy programme.

A scene is re-enacted from White's own appearance in the tabloid press

when he is presented on air with an orange flute band uniform jacket.

A surprise star performer in the series is Danny McGrain. While the

Celt is fondly remembered as a world-class full back, he could never

have been described as a great communicator, especially with his false

teeth out.

Who knows, we might even get to see the funny side of Jim Farry.

* A BRAVERY Award to junior footballer, Eddie Allan. He was playing

for Largs Thistle against Kilwinning Rangers in the final of the

Ardrossan and Saltcoats Herald Cup at Meadow Park, Irvine.

Allan was dismissed from the field for an over-enthusiastic challenge.

As he left the pitch he blessed himself, in full view of the enraged

Kilwinning fans, not once, not twice, but thrice.

Amazingly, he made it to the safety of the dressing-room.

* THIS month's issue of Golf Magazine carries an obituary of Harvey

Penick, the golfing sage and guru to such as Ben Crenshaw and Tom Kite.

Born in 1904, Penick was pro for 48 years at Austin, Texas, and for 60

years kept a little red notebook in which he scribbled his thoughts on

golf and life in general. These were published when he was 88 years old

in Harvey Penick's Little Red Book.

Harvey has gone to the great clubhouse in the sky but his name lives

on with his own design of clubs. The issue of Golf Magazine which

carries his obituary also has an advert for the Harvey Penick clubs --

with the slogan ''Take Dead Aim.''

* TOMMY Docherty features prominently, as you might expect, in a new

book, a collection of Quotable Scots. He said of George Best, in an

after-dinner speech: ''George can't be here tonight. He was launching a

ship in Belfast and wouldn't let go of the bottle.'' And on his sad

departure from Manchester United: ''They sacked me as nicely as they

could. One of the nicest sackings I've had.''

* A RESULT from the Inverness amateur football league, as printed in

the Inverness Courier -- DM Hall 0, Dynamo Smithton 11,117. A misprint,

unfortunately. They lost only 7-0.

The DM Hall goalkeeper, incidentally, was one Iain MacDonald,

presenter of Radio Scotland's Summer Sportscene programme and a chap who

is obviously better talking about sport than doing it.