FOR tourism chiefs trying to attract visitors to Scotland, it makes grim reading.
A new travel guide has lambasted many Scottish towns and cities, branding East Kilbride ''the last place on earth anyone would want to visit'', warning visitors to Dunoon to ''be careful after dark'', and bluntly dismissing Wick as ''dismal''.
The Lonely Planet guide, which does offer some praise of the country's ''beautiful'' scenery, also attacks Scots themselves, particularly their drinking and smoking habits. Even the cattle get it in the neck for looking cuddly but having foul tempers.
Glasgow, which, according to researchers at Lonely Planet Publications, is ''prone to periodic eruptions of sectarian football violence,'' is said to be ''surrounded by a grim hinterland . . . of grey council houses.''
Edinburgh is marred by ''problems with drugs and prostitutes'' while Dundee is ''scarred by ugly blocks of flats and office buildings joined by unsightly concrete walkways''.
Among rural areas condemned is John o'Groats, which is described as ''little more than a big car park and tourist trap''.
The guidebook, hailed as the independent travellers' bible, notes the Scots' liking for cigarettes and alcohol and says: ''Scots take their drinking seriously, spending an average 9% of their weekly income on fags and booze.''
It also advises caution to those tourists wanting to debate Scottish nationalism with their hosts, warning: ''It's probably best to practise your listening skills.''
It says midges and clegs are ''masters of stealth'' and the most painful problem facing the tourist.
However, the guide sets out to debunk some myths about Scots.
Surprisingly few, it maintains, eat porridge, while their reputation as ''a tight-fisted bunch'' is rejected.
Edinburgh is complimented for its ''superb architecture'' and its ''lively and sociable'' atmosphere, while Glasgow has ''a unique blend of friendliness, urban chaos and energy''.
Dundonians are credited with being the most welcoming and entertaining people in Scotland.
The castles, forests and glens in the Borders are described as having ''a romance and beauty of their own''.
The Highlands, too, win praise for the ''wild, empty and exhilarating space . . . more beautiful than you can imagine''.
Lonely Planet last night insisted that, even though the guide book was blunt in parts, it was ''overwhelmingly positive and enthusiastic''.
Jennifer Cox, a spokeswoman for the company, said: ''We're not the tourist board. It's not realistic to say everywhere in Scotland is paradise but we thought Scotland a totally fantastic destination and that's really reflected in the guide.''
She said the guide would ''encourage anyone to book a seat on the next overnight sleeper''.
VisitScotland said it hoped most people would recognise Scotland's true image and described the criticisms as ''asides to the main picture''.
Edinburgh and Lothians Tourist Board said the guide followed a period in which the city had attracted national and international recognition in the form of awards and accolades.
''It is disingenuous, in our opinion, to draw attention to some of the city's social problems, particularly since these are no different to those experienced in any large town or city in the world.''
A spokesman for South Lanarkshire Council said: ''This indicates Lonely Planet people have not visited East Kilbride, which is the most vibrant new town in Scotland.
''It has a lot going for it, is an attractive place, and not only do people want to visit it but they want to stay in it.''
Greater Glasgow and Clyde Valley Tourist Board said that Lonely Planet had been kind to Glasgow in recent years, commenting on its dynamism and energy.
''It tells it how it is and there will always be some aspects to the cityscape which are less impressive than others,'' said a spokesperson.
Argyll, the Isles, Loch Lomond, Stirling and the Trossachs Tourist Board said it was ''very disappointed'' with the attack on Dunoon, adding: ''That kind of remark is unnecessary, given the many positive things happening.''
The Highlands of Scotland Tourist Board said the criticism of Wick and John o'Groats was unfair. ''Places like that have to be viewed in the overall Highland picture and they are launch pads for exploration,'' it said.
Angus and Dundee Tourist Board said: ''It's Lonely Planet having their annual joke.''
BAd points
East Kilbride - ''The last place on earth anyone would want to visit''.
Edinburgh - ''Problems with drugs and prostitutes''.
Glasgow - ''Surrounded by a grim hinterland of grey council houses''.
Dundee - ''Scarred by ugly blocks of flats and office buildings joined by unsightly concrete walkways''.
Wick - ''Dismal''.
Dunoon - ''Be careful after dark''.
John o'Groats - ''Little more than a big car park and tourist trap''.
GOOD points
Glasgow - ''Unique blend of friendliness, urban chaos and energy''.
Edinburgh - ''Superb architecture, lively, and sociable''.
Highlands - ''Wide, empty, exhilarating space, more beautiful than you can imagine''.
Dundee - ''The most welcoming and entertaining people in Scotland''.
Borders - ''The castles, forests and glens, a romance and beauty of their own''.
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