Julie McDowall's TV picks

Remarkably, it’s been 25 years since Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse started working together, and this one-off show celebrates their comedy partnership.

It’s presented as a mockery of those smug, cheesy programmes called “An Audience With…” and the set wonderfully parodies its style, with an adoring audience applauding every word of the celebrity guests who’re perched on chairs on the twinkly stage.

The funny twist, however, is that the audience contains many familiar faces: we see Boris Johnson, Evan Davis, Harry Hill and Rob Brydon except, of course, they’re not really there, they’re being impersonated by Whitehouse and Enfield themselves.

The fake celebrities ask questions of the real Enfield and Whitehouse, which prompts clips of their old work, such as The Scousers, Wayne and Waynetta Slob, Tim Nice But Dim, and the man who is “considerably richer than YOU!”

Whilst it’s great to see these classic clips, most of the laughs come from the interaction between the mock audience and the stage. Whitehouse’s impersonation of a moody, candlelit Mark Rylance (or “Wolfy”, as they call him) is especially funny, as he asks slow, halting questions about their work before revealing – slowly – that he’s never seen any of it. They didn’t have TVs in that old Elizabethan era, you know…

BREAKING INTO BRITAIN: THE LORRY JUMPERS, C4, 10pm

Presenter Leo Maguire joins the migrants waiting at Calais who’re hoping to smuggle themselves into Britain. This documentary was made over the course of a year, allowing the film crew to get to know some of the migrants and hear their personal stories. They explain why they’ve made the long journey across Europe, and why they’re willing to risk death to cross the Channel rather than stay in the safety of France.

TUESDAY

INDIA: NATURE’S WONDERLAND, BBC2, 9pm

The spectacular sights in this documentary are shared between three presenters, all of whom are Indian or of Indian heritage.

Liz Bonnin is a wildlife expert whose grandparents were Indian. She presents the segment of the show which deals with India’s varied wildlife. She starts off in the Gir Forest which is the only place on earth where one can find Asiatic lions. There were once only 12, but the forest has worked to bring that number up to 500, and we see the big cats lazing in the morning sun. They’re similar to African lions except their manes are shorter and they have flabby stomachs, known as “the belly fold”.

Actress Freida Pinto takes over to show how the wildlife is connected to the people, visiting a forest of gibbons and the people who devote their lives to their conservation.

But the most impressive strand of the programme belongs to mountaineer, Jon Gupta, who climbs the Indian side of the Himalayas for the first time in his career, having previously ascended only the Nepali side. “Himalaya” means “abode of snow”, and it’s this snow which provides a vast fresh water source for the continent. Over 15,000 glaciers in the mountains feed into India’s rivers, so the mountain range is a source of life, not just spectacular scenery.

HOW THE RICH GET HITCHED, C4, 10pm

If the absurdly rich love conspicuous consumption (how else can we explain gold-plated supercars?) then it follows that they must adore an elaborate wedding, for what could be more conspicuous? Friends and family are summoned to attend, and photographs are almost compulsory.

This documentary follows Caroline Castigliano, a wedding dress designer for the rich, as she creates ludicrously expensive gowns for spoiled wannabe princesses. There’s clearly much to be said for elopement.

WEDNESDAY

KOLKATA WITH SUE PERKINS, BBC1, 9pm

I had hoped this would be the start of a new series, having loved Perkins’s 2014 travelogue of the Mekong River but, alas, it’s simply a one-off programme, though it certainly packs plenty of colour, detail and texture into its short 60 minutes.

Sue Perkins immerses herself in the chaos of Kolkata, “the city of a billion car horns”, and the glorious opening scenes have her gawping in the crowded streets as cars, vans and rickshaws zoom past her. “It’s an exploding grenade of colour and sound!” she shouts.

This is her first visit to the city, so we’re invited to share her awe at everything she sees. Whilst this may be part of Perkins’s media persona – she expresses similar wonder at scones on the Bake Off – it is certainly infectious in the midst of this beguiling city.

And it’s no dainty travel programme, as she acknowledges when she’s being lowered into a sewer. Judith Chalmers never had to do this, she grumbles.

But things get off to a more gentle start as she explores the city’s obsession with tea. In the many tiny stalls on the noisy streets, people stop for hot, sweet tea served from clay cups which they then shatter on the ground. The hardened clay shards are swept into the river whence they came and, next day, the city’s “army of teacup makers” start gathering the muddy clay to make yet more teacups.

THE ASCENT OF WOMAN, BBC2, 9pm

It’s good to see so many female historians on TV now; it’s a welcome change from nippy little Starkey or the endlessly gesticulating Schama.

Dr Amanda Foreman presents this new series on how women helped shape the modern world, with the first episode examining repression of women in early civilisation. We see the origins of patriarchy, the use of the veil, and she also visits Mesopotamia where the first laws were written to control women’s behaviour.

THURSDAY

CRADLE TO GRAVE, BBC2, 9pm

Peter Kay’s new sitcom tackles his favourite, well-worn subject: nostalgia. The main problem is that he’s doing it here with a hideous Cockney accent. He’s famous for his “oop North” style and dialect, but he’s playing a dodgy Cockney geezer called Spud in this show, and delivers his lines as though he’s a Northerner trying to do an impression of Michael Caine.

The sitcom is set in 1970s South London and is narrated by Spud’s son, Danny, who’s looking back with fondness to the good old days of his youth in Bermondsey, a rough, down-at-heel district of London which was still scarred with bombsites from the war.

In this first episode the family are despairing at Spud’s money-making schemes, which see him fill their house with footballs and quilts, all of which have, as they say, fallen off the back of a van. Even his regular line of work as a docker provides opportunities for dodgy dealings: He breaks into a vat of methanol, thinking he’ll peddle it round the pubs as cheap alcohol. After taking a sip he cracks the lid off fully to see a corpse floating inside: it seems he’s been drinking formaldehyde instead. That’s the type of humour you can expect in this jolly, easy-going sitcom. Nothing spectacular but it’s sweet and cosy.

JAMIE’S SUGAR RUSH, C4, 9pm

Even if the manic Jamie Oliver irritates you, it must be said that he’s done some good work in food activism, raising awareness of what school meals and fast foods actually contain. He’s in similar crusading spirit here, detailing the link between sugar and the obesity crisis. Too much attention has been given to fat; it’s time to look at sugar, and we’re told that too much sugar can be as harmful as excessive alcohol or tobacco.

FRIDAY

RICK STEIN: FROM VENICE TO ISTANBUL, BBC2, 9.30pm

Rick Stein declares Greek food to be the best, and gently mocks the typical British tourist who might profess they love Greece but the food puts them off. As an example, he sits down to a soggy plate of green leaves. I’d have to agree with Stein’s typical Brits abroad here and say this dish looks hideous. It’s simply green leaves which have gathered from the hillside then plunged into boiling water, before being doused in olive oil and lemon juice and then slapped onto the plate in a wet, green mound. We’re told the freshness and the flavours make this simple meal exquisite, and “it’s no wonder the old people live to over 100…it’s a health cure on a plate.” Perhaps so, but I remain unconvinced, even when we’re shown the local “old people” rising from their tables to dance amidst cheering and shattered crockery. Could it be that the secret of their vitality is simply damp greenery?

Then we go to the opposite of the food spectrum and witness a massive fish stew being prepared, the pot seeming to contain every colour – orange carrots, purple onions, red peppers, green spinach – and every variety of fish, all of which are swirled together in a rich golden stock of water, herbs and ouzo.

WOULD I LIE TO YOU? BBC1, 8.30pm

The success of this show depends on the quality of its panellists. This week they include Top Gear’s Richard Hammond - the least funny of the motoring trio - and Judy Murray, a tennis coach. The line-up hardly seems guaranteed to deliver great laughs, but let’s not be judgemental: last week’s show had a footballer and an academic, yet was one of the best. Comedian Trevor Noah also stars and tries to convince us that he used to phone people, pretending to be Nelson Mandela.