THE SNP's once extensive range of '56' merchandise was abruptly axed after Michelle Thomson's departure.

But what if you'd already forked out for a bag, t-shirt or mug bearing the now out of date number of nationalist MPs?

You're stuck with it. Unspun has learned refunds are being refused to those who want to return the items, complaining they have now become an embarrassing reminder of the Edinburgh West MP's antics.

///

Scots Tory leader Ruth Davidson triggered chants of "Ruth, Ruth, Ruth" at her fringe at the Tory conference in Manchester, to the tune of England fans hailing their hero Joe Root.

The similarity in their names was a stroke of luck, one wag noted. "Imagine if she was called Gillian".

///

SNP woes over home shark Michelle Thomson have been exacerbated by multiple vacancies in the party’s press office, Unspun fears.

In particular, the recent exit of spindoctor Kevin Pringle for a career in public affairs has left a big hole in the Nats’ once legendary rebuttal unit.

Luckily for the SNP, Pringle will be sharing his thoughts on L’Affair Thomson tomorrow - in his new column for the paper which broke the Thomson story in the first place. Ah, the irony.

///

AS Westminster’s conference season winds down, the Holyrood equivalent starts today with the Scottish Greens in Glasgow.

But before anyone gets too excited, consider this stern message from the official Green guidebook: “Attunement. Each conference plenary session starts with a brief attunement, designed to focus minds and stop all activity and conversation. Please respect the silence.” You have been warned.