WITH a thunderous, ear-popping roar from his Tory colleagues the nearly-departed Dave stood up to make the Commons statement he had hoped he would never have to - about Britain’s divorce from Brussels.
The Brexit bruiser Bozza was nowhere to be seen as his onetime chum faced the humiliation of defeat with admirable dignity. And yet there is always a place at the dispatch box to try to make fun of your opponent even in defeat.
So after Labour’s new MP for Tooting Rosena Allin-Khan had been warmly welcomed onto the green benches, Flashman could not help making a joke at Jezza’s expense. Noting how she should “keep her mobile on; she might be in the shadow cabinet by the end of the day.”
As the latest number of resignations from the chief comrade’s shadow team rose above 30, Dave snipped: “And I thought I was having a bad day.”
For his contribution, Jezza raged against the rebels, including the two-thirds of the shadow cabinet who had resigned, for "indulging in internal factional manoeuvring”.
When the Labour leader railed against how people felt “disenfranchised and powerless”, the Tory berserkers erupted into laughter. Irony is a powerful parliamentary weapon.
As the Tory tributes for the PM poured forth, even from the staunchest of Brexiters, another loud and prolonged cheer rose up when the softly-spoken Labour rebel Hilary Benn stood up to speak; the former shadow foreign secretary was dispatched at midnight by Jezza for conspiring against him. Ian Murray, the now ex-shadow Scottish secretary, another red reb, was also cheered as the first to break ranks with the hairy leftie.
It was also interesting to note that as Mr Corbyn surrounded himself by his new team of anonymous frontbenchers, the counter-Corbynista Chris Leslie, the former shadow chancellor, could not bring himself even to refer to his party leader as my honourable friend, as is customary, but instead as simply the Leader of the Opposition.
Before the PM’s Brexit statement, there was perhaps another example of the shambles gripping Labour.
At the weekend after Tom Watson, the deputy party leader, was caught out enjoying himself in a “silent disco” at the Glastonbury Festival as the Labour roof began to cave in, the newly appointed shadow defence secretary Clive Lewis failed to make it to the dispatch box for defence questions amid rumours he too was still in deepest Somerset.
His absence sparked jeers from SNP and Tory benches with one MP interrupting defence secretary Michael Fallon to offer his congratulations to Mr Lewis on his new move by shouting mockingly: "When he is back from Glastonbury." Oh dear.
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