A SCOTS homeowner tried to wriggle out of paying their TV licence fee by claiming they merely used the glow from the set as a lamp to help them read.
Another enlightened Scot said: "Why would I need a TV licence for a TV I stole? Nobody knows I've got it."
They are among the excuses trotted out after viewers were found to have TV sets without having paid the fee.
The Scots examples, from Dundee and Kilmarnock respectively, were revealed by officials from TV Licensing as they launched a drive to encourage more people to pay up. Other excuses included being unable to get to the shops because the Olympic torch relay had made the area too busy, while another said they were unable to pay as they had been barred from their local outlet after being caught shoplifting.
Another said they did not think they needed a licence because their pet corgi was said to be related to one of the Queen's dogs.
Spokesman Stephen Farmer said: "Joking and wacky excuses apart, it's breaking the law to watch television without a licence, so anybody doing this risks prosecution and a fine of up to £1000."
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