I hope you're not going to be writing about me in this new column," she says.

"That might be a bit of a problem," I reply. "We've been married for 20 years, living together for 25 and been a couple for 30 years. That's a rather large block of time to avoid." (This is possibly not a verbatim account of the conversation. I don't have shorthand.)

"Even so," she says. "Well, look," I say, putting on my best conciliatory voice. "How about I just call you J? You can be forever J to the readers [1]. Plus, I promise I'll only mention you if it's absolutely necessary?"

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