GLASGOW'S statues rarely get peace these days.
For decades, they sat on their plinths observing the world go by, bothering naebody and being bothered by nane in return.
Now, fearfully, they watch for those who would bid them do what they hate most: move. Move? It ain't in a statue's job description.
First they came – or at least have plans to come – for the doughty dozen that offer their heads to the pigeons of George Square.
That curiously mixed bunch, which includes Robert Burns, Prince Albert and Sir Robert Peel, faces relocation while the square is regenerated, a laudable concept used to cover the threat of more outdoor cafeterias.
That said, it was a blessing some smart soul moved the statues of Springburn Public Halls before they were blootered to smithereens over the festive season on safety grounds. Unsurprisingly, the halls have been removed from the Buildings at Risk register. Fears have been expressed for the fate of two statues that stood in alcoves above the B (for blootered?)-listed building's former entrance. The James Sheriff sculptures are Greek-style goddess figures representing "Locomotive Manufacturing" and "Engineering". One is holding an engine to her robes, as if given a train set for Christmas.
The pair are being held captive by Glasgow City Council, and pundits fear they could meet the same fate as old classical statues of Townhead Public Library, now redeployed, according to sculpture historian Gary Nisbet, as "expensive gnomes in an Illinois garden". Put on public sale, they were snapped up Stateside. Mr Nisbet has called for the Springburn statues to be put on display for the people of Glasgow, a laudable aim this column supports.
It doesn't sound beyond the wit of municipal man. But, thereafter, enough with the moving already.