WHY Glasgow City Council might be wary of letting the public vote on the lacklustre designs for revamping George Square: someone started a Facebook page suggesting the council should instead put a giant bouncy castle in the square.
The bouncy castle page has been "liked" in just a few days by more people than the council's own Facebook page – and it was launched a year ago.
A CHAP at an Ayrshire golf club was declaiming that he wasn't going to quit smoking as you could just as easily be knocked down by a bus while crossing the street.
"Aye, but if you didn't smoke you could cross the street a hell of a lot quicker," piped up a voice further down the bar.
OUR story of selling spare Led Zeppelin tickets reminds Mike Ritchie of going to see Steve Earle at Glasgow's Barrowland, and having a spare brief.
Says Mike: "I stepped outside Baird's Bar to try to sell it at face value, £16. A chap approached and said, 'You must have paid a booking fee and did you collect it or have it posted out?'
"He then produced a calculator, worked out a booking fee and postal charge which came to £17.50, gave me a £20 note with a cheery 'Keep the change, a reward for your honesty'."
Any more ticket stories?
TV or not TV
WE mentioned changing one letter in a TV programme's name. Andy Ewan in Dunoon suggests: The Minging Detective – a Scottish private eye series; Have I Got Pews For You – drama of the battle for St George's Tron Church; One Foot In The Gravy – celebrity cookery show, starring people who can't cook; and Liver City – a Scottish soap where characters drink more than is good for them.
Gloria in extremis
ONE of the most attractive Burns events this month is The Herald's Burns lunch at Brig o' Doon Hotel, Alloway, on January 20 – tickets £30, call 0141 302 7319 – with speakers including panto star Karen Dunbar.
We remember Karen once explaining that originally she sang karaoke, but got into comedy when she was doing Gloria Gaynor's I Am What I Am, and a pal was shouting out: "Karen!"
"Ah'm no' Karen, ah'm Gloria," she replied, staying in character.
"Gloria!" her pal shouted back. "Yer boob's oot." There was indeed a wardrobe malfunction, and the exchange got the audience laughing. From there, a comedy career was born.
The chap's got stylus
DAFT gag of the weekend? The chap in the Glasgow pub who declared: "My son's taking a course in engraving.
"I asked him after the first day if he had learned much, but he said they had hardly scratched the surface."