A READER at a Dollar Academy dinner was much taken with guest speaker Iain Milne, the former international rugby player, explaining that he was capped 44 times for Scotland.
His brother Kenny was capped 39 times for his country. Their brother David managed only one cap for Scotland.
"Or as he likes to tell people," explained Iain, "he's one of the three Milne brothers who between them have played 84 times for Scotland."
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PRIME Minister David Cameron apologised yesterday for employing Andy Coulson who was found guilty of phone hacking charges. Or as a reader tells us: "I must admit I wasn't paying close attention to the news on the telly, but who is Fulham Frank, and why was the Prime Minister apologising to him?"
A READER sitting on the train near two ladies who embarked at Whitecraigs Station realised they were discussing a woman of their acquaintance when one of them said disparagingly: "She's more can of peas than canapés."
STUDYING can prove difficult for students. Natalie Rowley says she was in the library at Edinburgh University when the weather was a bit parky, but nevertheless there was a fellow student sitting there in shorts and a t-shirt. Says Natalie: "It was pouring outside and his friend asked him why he was wearing shorts and flip-flops. He replied, 'I figured if I came in dressed like this, it would make outdoors seem even more cold and then I wouldn't want to leave the library. So this is my way of forcing myself to revise'."
Seeing is believing
WORLD Cup commentators continued. Says Peter McMahon in Kirkintilloch: "Phil Neville explained the new practice of the ref spraying a white line for the players in the wall to stand behind with this belter, 'the referee has just drawn an imaginary line'."
Oh the good old days!
AN article about tenement life in The Herald started off a conversation among some older readers when the conversation got round to the very old days of having to share a toilet on the landing with other families. One chap, born and raised in Springburn argued there was one good thing about the shared toilet. When his friends asked what that could have been, he replied: "You seldom got a cold seat."
OUR tanning story reminds Kenny Reid: "Last month I was in The White House Tavern, Aspen, Colorado, and the barmaid told me that when she was in Scotland, her doctor had advised her to take to the sunbed regularly, making up for the lack of Vitamin D. I was slightly alarmed, but didn't bother telling her that many Scots manage to go through life lacking in all the other vitamins, too."
THE drinks trade magazine Dram is sending out mystery shoppers, or technically mystery drinkers, to pubs and restaurants nominated for its annual awards. One secret judge had to take her dog with her in Stirling as she was judging Dog Friendly Pubs. Dram editor Susan Young tells us: "A man in the pub asked the mystery shopper, 'would you like a drink?'. 'I'm ok,' says she. 'Not you,' he retorts, 'the dug'.
"So although my judge wasn't happy, she could hardly give it low marks."