Not so long ago I queued in persistent Aberdeen drizzle to hand over my expensive match ticket for a one-day cricket international.
My mood darkened with the weather as the booted and suited were ushered through a dedicated entrance apart from we hoi polloi who had paid for our tickets. They, of course, were the corporate elect, memorably christened the "prawn sandwich brigade" by former Manchester United captain Roy Keane.
Nothing, apart from television-dictated kick-offs, annoys ordinary fans more than corporate hospitality. The reasons are not hard to find. In the gents I met a stray from the corporate compound. "What do you think of it so far?" he asked.
I suggested that Jimmy Anderson was still quick despite the damp underfoot conditions. The adjacent cognoscenti paused a moment before asking: "Is he a batter or bowler then?" My involuntary wince led him to add, perhaps unnecessarily, that he knew nothing about cricket. The "best thing" was "being paid to be there." Clearly a loss to the diplomatic corps.
It's not only football and cricket that are menaced by the corporate contagion. It is as aggressive and invasive as the Japanese kudzu beetle, and is spreading rapidly through most sports, threatening the long-term welfare of its hosts. Anyone who has tried unsuccessfully to obtain tickets for Wimbledon may well wonder why assorted politicians, business people and "movers and shakers" do not experience similar difficulties. Corporate credit cards talk in areas other than sport. They pay for the wining, dining and general entertainment of actual and potential clients. But where is the dividing line between corporate hospitality and corporate corruption? Wining and dining potential clients is a sweetener and an incentive to "remember us" when awarding the next contract.
Critics of corporate hospitality are sometimes accused of envy or failing to understand the need to grease the wheels of business. Maybes aye, maybe no. Nevertheless, corporate hospitality is not cost neutral.
At the end of the day someone picks up the tab. Usually it is the consumer, those of us who buy the petrol or invest in sponsors' financial products.
In truth, corporate hospitality is further confirmation of whose opinion really matters in modern Britain. In much the same way as only little people pay taxes, it seems only little people buy their own tickets.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article