BIT of a row over the split amongst Labour MPs on whether they should vote against, or simply abstain, over the Government's Welfare Bill. We think he must have some Scottish blood in him as Labour backbencher John McDonnell made his position clear when he told the Commons in his speech: "I would swim through vomit to vote against this bill. And listening to some of the nauseating speeches tonight, I might have to."

Incidentally, one commentator on social media thought Labour's first MP, Keir Hardie, would be unhappy with Labour MPs abstaining if he were alive today. Publishing a photograph of Keir's graveyard memorial in Ayrshire, he wrote: "Scientists clock Keir Hardie at 7,600 rpm, breaking previous record of 5,200 rpm set in 1997. "

NOT the best of weather for the school holidays. As Tory MSP Murdo Fraser observed yesterday: " Don't we love the school holidays? As one parent said, if you're not shouting at your children, you're not spending enough time with them."

THAT got me thinking, do they still have Sunday School trips? Heading to some park in some unsuspecting town for games and sandwiches. Marvellous. A reader reminds us of the story of the wee boy looking forward to his Sunday School trip, but his exasperated mother told him he couldn't go because he had been cheeky to her. When the Saturday of the trip came, she felt bad, and said he could go after all. She was surprised that he didn't look pleased, so she asked him what the matter was. "It's too late," he told her. "I've already prayed for rain."

DID you see comedian Lee Nelson throw money at Sepp Blatter during a Fifa conference? A reader phones to tell us: "The gesture backfired as Sepp took the money and announced that Lee now has to host the 2026 World Cup in his back garden."

WE mentioned the Post Office confusing the Renfrewshire village of Bishopton with Bishopston near Swansea. We had never heard of the Welsh hamlet before, it has to be said, but Anne Neilson in Kilwinning tells us: "Scottish friends camped there many years ago, and I took my Welsh cousin's two daughters, aged eleven and nine, from Swansea, to visit the campsite. My hospitable Scottish friend asked the girls, 'Would you like a piece?' The elder replied, 'A piece of what?'"

WE spot a colleague heading towards us and we are not quick enough to avoid him as he announces: "I've become the new owner of Chiropractor Monthly - but I have no back issues."

A READER here's a young lad in Glasgow rant to his pals: "Whenever I ask my dad anything he always says, 'Go ask your mother.' I swear if I woke up after being in a coma for years and asked, 'Where am I?' my dad would still sit there and say, 'Go ask your mother'."

GORDON Rigby tells us the discussion in the pub the other night was over professional insults, with someone recalling the classic about engineers: “He couldn’t put a nut in a monkey’s mouth”. Gordon’s favourite was the one about drummers: “He couldn’t chap doors at Hallowe’en.” Any more professional insults?

A READER swears to us that he heard some young women discussing the supernatural with one opining: "On one hand, I'm intrigued by witchcraft. On the other hand, it seems like it involves a lot of chopping and cooking."