IT’S probably somewhat inappropriate under the circumstances, but I like to think of Charlotte Proudman clad in a catsuit, superhero-style, with several jagged speech bubbles around her head: Biff! Bam! Pow!
The human rights barrister has been flustering feminists and sexists alike with her response to a fellow lawyer who replied to her connection request on the professional networking site LinkedIn with a comment about the high quality of her profile picture.
“I appreciate this is probably horrendously politically incorrect but that is a stunning picture!!!”, he wrote, abusing both professional standards and punctuation.
Ms Proudman was having absolutely none of it. “Unacceptable and misogynistic behaviour. Think twice before sending another woman (half your age) such a sexist message.”
And there the case might have rested, Alexander Carter-Silk having been given a telling and Ms Proudman returning to her PhD studies at Cambridge.
But no. The lady decided to take things further and named-and-shamed Mr Carter-Silk on Twitter. He has also been referred to his professional body, the Solicitors’ Regulation Authority.
Now Mr Carter-Silk is being pitied as the victim and Ms Proudman cast as a mirthless, attention-seeking harpy who should just stay off social media if she can’t take the heat.
Why can’t these wimmins just take a compliment, the ungrateful bunch? Can’t they think themselves lucky to be a lure for discerning gentlemen?
Well, look, I’m not convinced Mr Carter-Silk is all that discerning. Here’s a comment he put on his daughter’s Facebook page: “Whilst I should not encourage lascivious comments about my daughter ... Yeee gods she is hot!!” Seriously, can someone chat to the man about abuse of exclamation marks?
Ms Proudman, it’s also been mooted, is clearly looking to further her career by ensuring she gains as much publicity as possible. Which is a terrible pity, as ambition is just such an unattractive quality in a young woman. Conversely, it’s also been mooted that she’ll never work again, because sticking your head above the parapet is such an unattractive quality in a professional.
Older women are saying, ‘Well, we dealt with worse and just got on with it.’ I’m not convinced that because one generation has suffered an indignity, the next generation should be expected to endure the same.
She should have acted with more discretion, so she should. No, the onus is not on young women to flatter leches by keeping their secrets. The onus is on Mr Carter-Silk not to send messages that might look shameful in a public forum. Why did he feel the need to send the message? Couldn’t he have just said to an office chum, ‘Here, look at this stunning picture’? Maybe he could have called his wife over to his PC and pointed it out to her.
Shouldn’t Ms Proudman simply have smirked at the pathetic message then chuckled about it with friends over a glass of Pinot, others have suggested. Is that equality? That women should mock sad old men behind their backs. Are men happy with that, being figures of fun? Wouldn’t it be better if we all just approach one another as equals? Let me answer that: yes it would.
It’s not our responsibility as young women to sooth the egos of leery old boys who don’t care to admit their youth is gone. It becomes increasingly tiresome to have to act appreciatively and politely when unwanted advances are made because you’re worried that this man might one day be in a position to hire or fire you; that this man is already in a position to hire or fire you; that he may turn nasty if you don’t humour him.
Ms Proudman took a difficult stance. Calling out behaviour that is discomforting or belittling is not easy. You’re immediately cast as bereft of humour. Because it’s only, ha ha, a joke, ho, when your older, male colleagues judge your professional worth by your cup size and hair colour.
I think of the number of times in my career that I should have done this and did not and I feel quite ashamed. Ms Proudman did the brave thing and maybe it will help other young women in professional environments also do the brave thing.
Compliments are a present and here’s the thing about presents: it’s not a gift when it’s being forced into closed fists.
Well done, Ms Proudman, heroine of the week. Bam!
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