Catriona Stewart: Hello, Adele. Actually, he's at home but he's moved on. And so should you

The singer released her latest album, 25, yesterday and has enjoyed phenomenal sales. Well, she’s a big star. Of course she has. Her first single, Hello, whisked straight to number one. It’s been hailed as a modern classic, a work of genius.

What is wrong with everyone?

Has anyone listened to the lyrics of this cringe ballad? “Hello,” she says. “I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet to go over everything.” Far be it for me to put words into anyone’s mouth, but I’m going to guess it’s a no. A very firm no.

“I must’ve called a thousand times…But when I call you never seem to be home.”

Oh, Adele, pet. He’s at home. He’s at home with all the lights off, hiding in a locked bathroom, wondering when you’re going to see sense and leave him alone.

Apparently this sort of blatant tomfoolery makes it to number one because the emotions resonate with people.

What is wrong with everyone?

Lena Dunham, the actress and writer behind the TV series Girls, tweeted recently to remark on Justin Beiber’s hit song What Do You Mean?, saying “Let’s do away with pop songs where a girl nods yes when she means no and vice versa.”

In what is perhaps a sign that I’m now too old to be listening to Radio One, I too often hear the phrase “Let’s do away with pop songs that…” reverberate around my head as I listen to the screwed up nonsense that passes for popularity.

In between Chris Brown (convicted of domestic abuse) and R Kelly (it would be too difficult to explain) tunes on the radio, the airwaves have been loaded with Jealous by Nick Jonas, an ode to coercive control and the merits of jealousy in relationships. “It's my right to be hellish/I still get jealous/Cause you're too sexy, beautiful.”

The messages of popular culture matter. Young girls and teenagers learn about ideological and political arguments through film, television and music. They go to concerts by these massively popular stars and scream along to lyrics that tell them their boyfriend has the right to instruct them how to dress or who they might socialise with. Adele is one of the biggest selling artists of all time and her lyrics normalise a truly screwed up approach to relationships.

I’m not suggesting going down the Wayne W Dyer route of rejecting cultural imprinting. In his book Your Erroneous Zones, one of the best selling books of all time, Dyer suggests that when we hear songs with negative or approval-seeking lyrics, we should rewrite them with a more positive slant.

For example, “I make myself feel like a natural woman.” Or, “I am the sunshine of my life.” Or the mildly eye-popping, “I can stop loving you, but at this point I choose not to.”

No, not this.

But, as Spider-Man’s Uncle Ben said, with great power comes great responsibility. If you’re going to be selling 30 million singles, can’t you make it 30 million copies of a song telling people that the end of a relationship can be quite sad but it’s best for everyone involved to move on?

There’s a scene in the film Jurassic World that is so revolutionary that it made me want to stand up and applaud then force the projectionist to rewind and play it again.

I don’t want to stumble into any spoilers but, in short, things are looking fairly dire for all assembled, prompting male co-worker to turn to female co-worker and clasp her for a kiss. In movies gone before, the lady would soften at the knees and welcome the chap in with open mouth. But not this time, buster. Instead, she furrows her brow at the imposition and tells him she has a boyfriend. He’s stunned. She’s never mentioned a boyfriend before. “Well, we’re at work,” she replies.

I want to be able to stand up and applaud the next time I switch the radio on. It’s not much to ask.