WELL, not many votes again for the British entry in the Eurovision Song Contest. Tom Jamieson, watching when viewers could send their vote in, explains it to us: "That 'Remember you can't vote for the UK entry' warning also comes up on the screen of every other European country too."

THE other big telly event at the weekend for many was the exciting Falkirk v Hibs play-off game, which Falkirk won with a goal in the last minute of injury time. Said one viewer: "That's me deep in the wife's bad books. Her cat was on my lap when that last-minute Falkirk goal went in. Haven't seen it since."

And Ian Smith was perhaps just a tad harsh when he commented: "Falkirk fans celebrating like they've forgotten that they live in Falkirk."

WE asked for slow dance stories, and Jim Coley recalls: "In the late sixties there were three go-go dancers at the Redhurst Dolly Disco in the Redhurst Hotel on Glasgow’s south side, and as a treat for the punters, they would dance with a customer for one number. Cue a mad rush for a dance with a ‘dolly’ in kinky boots, hot pants and cropped top. One night, to my great good fortune, I was first to one of the girls and, incredibly, the DJ had put on a slow number. As I approached the object of my desire I was greeted with, 'Now watch where yer puttin yer hauns. Ma boady’s all sweaty!' Instant loss of desire.

OUR story about the late Sam Galbraith not recognising actress Julie Christie reminds Jimmy Nimmo in Ayr: "At an Eagle Star 'important client' fishing outing to a Tayside estate they owned, an aristocratic guest failed to recognise Nick Faldo or even hear his name correctly and asked, 'Well, what is it you do for a living, Mick?. Nick merely replied, 'I play golf for a living'.

At dinner that night after the fishing his lordship loudly announced, 'Well Mick, I do hope you are better at golf than you are at fishing, or it will be the poor-house for you, my lad!'"

A READER in a Glasgow pub at the weekend heard a chap tell his pals that he had forgotten his wife's birthday. when his mates asked him what excuse he had come up with, he said he had tried: "How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you don't look any older?"

WORKPLACE nicknames continued. Tom Rafferty was a guest at the Glasgow Warriors Awards Dinner, invited by his old firm which supplied equipment to steelworks. Old colleagues were being recalled, and Tom tells us: "We hired a contractor from leafy Kent, who was keen to get to know his new colleagues. He will always be remembered as the bloke who emailed the whole office asking 'Would anyone like to join me on a trip to The Barrows on Sunday?'

"He was 'Lord Snooty' for quite some time after that."

BARNEY Macfarlane reads the two stories in The Herald about the anniversary of Rudolf Hess landing in Eaglesham, and East Renfrewshire Council being overwhelmed with placing requests for its schools. Says Barney: "I feel that the mystery of Hess flying to Scotland has now been answered. He was just trying to do the best for his family."