She creased him up
OUR story about the granny’s fashion faux pas of sewing her granddaughter’s ripped jeans reminds Margaret Thomson in Bridge of Weir: “I was at my daughter’s house, and decided to do some ironing for her. I’m so glad I had gone home when my son in law discovered his best jeans, immaculately pressed with creases back and front. He still speaks to me!” 

Little girl is on the ball
FRANK Murphy tells us about an acquaintance who took his six-year-old daughter to her first football game, the Rangers Aberdeen game, the other week. The chap said: “When she got home her first words were, ‘Mum, I thought dad only shouted at me and my brother. He really doesn’t like Aberdeen and he said a lot of words that sounded like sweary words and now he’s lost his voice so he can’t shout at us now’.”

Raising an eyebrow
A MILNGAVIE reader heard a woman of a certain age in a coffee shop tell her pal: “My husband suggested I should tone down getting Botox injections. I scowled at him. Well, I tried to.”

Icy response
DISNEY’S Frozen is the big family film on Christmas Day. A Newlands reader confesses his daughter played the DVD of the film so often he told her in the summer it was too hot to play it any more as the characters would melt.

Smart Santa
AS Christmas approaches, Eleanor Manchanda, in Bearsden, tells us: “I asked my daughter if my nine-year-old grandson still believed in Santa. ‘Definitely,’ she said. ‘In his Santa letter he suggested to the old guy that if he typed in www.amazon and looked at the picture top row, second from the left, he would find his chosen item there’. “He thinks that Santa is sitting in front of his computer ordering toys for the children of the world.”

Brush with the past
GETTING old continued. Says Simon Holland: “Remember before Amazon reviews when you could just buy a toothbrush without six hours of research?”

Hair-raising days
IT will be 30 years next year since the workers occupied the Caterpillar factory in Uddingston in a bid to save their jobs, and already events are being organised to mark the occasion. The poster advertising a reunion next month is a trifle harsh as it states there will be a photographic exhibition and urges former colleagues to try to “spot your family among the mullets and perms”.

Being Blunt
YES it’s been some year, 2016, but as singer James Blunt told followers on social media: “If you thought 2016 was bad – I’m releasing an album in 2017.”

Jumping on the wagon
OUR Christmas competition, with a Champagne dinner for two courtesy of the excellent Urban Bar and Brasserie in Glasgow’s St Vincent Place for the winner, is to drop one letter from a film title and make an even better one. Thanks all who suggested Rainspotting, about growing up in Scotland, and Raveheart, about the Scottish warrior who preferred dancing.

But today’s suggestions are:
l Mutiny on the Bunty - editorial differences split staff on girls’ comic. (David Will)
l Pint Blank – two friends try to recall the events of the previous night in the pub. (Ian Anderson)
l Aint Your Wagon – dispute over vehicle ownership. (Mike Ritchie)
l Gentlemen Refer Blondes – an upmarket dating agency. (Gerry Minnery).