Let's get prehistoric baby!

There are loads of parallels between Godzilla and Ukip. Godzilla came to a town near you on the silver screen wrecking everything in sight. Nigel Farage came to us on every TV screen, even when he was on radio being chopped and diced and turned into a delicious Boeuf Bourguignon he was televised, just in case he made a fool of himself or was easily goaded into saying something racist about having to live next door to Romanians.

Godzilla is a monster who will give you nightmares but of course is fictional. Ukip and Nigel Farage aren't. They are very real.

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Godzilla was an old prehistoric dinosaur who led itself into extinction. Ukip are getting stronger and appear to be part of the political landscape, like them or not, they look like they are here to stay.

The actual word dinosaur means 'terrible lizard' (the name is a tad misleading as dinosaurs are actually reptiles). There is something of the terrible lizard in the portrayal of Farage & co.

The party seem to thrive on the oxygen of bad publicity to perpetuate their message. They are far from extinction, anything but.

It's tough to work out whether they are a political party of rich former Tories having a laugh or a genuine political party. Maybe they are a secret society, a right wing group of after-dinner speakers who like to shock people and play to their base instincts and fears of being a white man, throw in the odd corrosive, racist slur by doing a non PC routine, part Black and White Minstrel part Bernard Manning.

Maybe their place in the British political arena is now fixed as the go-to protest vote for disenfranchised Lib Dem and Conservatives.

Like the hustling con man on the fiddle said to the Stradivarius, you should know when you're being played.

Ukip are expected to follow up on their success at the local council elections in England by doing well in the European elections, even hoping to gain a seat in Scotland. The chap they expect to get them over the line up here actually lives in Kensington.

It's not all bad news, polls revealed that the impact of any Ukip victories and success stories in England would most likely rebound in Scotland and embolden the Yes votes in the referendum. According to an ICM poll, 18% would be more likely to vote Yes, compared to 8% who said they would be more likely to vote no.

The pound sign that lies behind the branding in the Ukip logo probably tells you more about their raison d'etre. I'm sure they genuinely want to keep the pound instead of the Euro, oh I'm lost in a sea of irony.

I looked into it all for Impolitic. I did an in-depth analysis. Findings? I think Farage plays this nuanced role of the idiotic golf club racist who comes away with stuff and people can't work out if he's being ironic or actually in the KKK. He constantly perpetuates this image to keep getting voted in and gets his hands on the filthy lucre available to MEPs in Brussels. Have you seen how much they earn?

Talking of MEPs, let's not forget the Per Diem rates of £258 for subsistence. (When I was in bands in the 1990s it was £5 a day for your PDs).

£258 and this is for your daily subsistence and general expenditure, on newspapers, chocolate and cappuccinos and incredibly doesn't require any receipts. So you could be finding the local Strasbourg equivalent of Greggs for le Steak Bake and raking in a grand a week for lunches and yer tea?

Mais Oiu!! Zut Alors…Even the MEP assistants can earn as much as £78,000 for running to the local Greggs.

Try as I might to get excited and interested in the EU elections I just felt so far removed from their message, their allowances. As if they didn't matter to me or have any effect on my life. Maybe in the words of 'Vienna' by Ultravox which is in Austria, which is in Europe; 'this means nothing to me'.

I was to blame for not investing enough time in the process. (I did manage to watch all of the Party Political Broadcasts and some made particularly painful viewing) I just don't feel the message put out didn't apply to me. I didn't feel I had anything in common with Paxman interviewing Farage on Newsnight, of Nick Clegg, the second most important man in UK Politics talking from his radio show. WTF???? He is still doing this and no one bats an eye lid?

Unless there was a singing bearded transvestite on the list the EU elections (I recognised one name) didn't do it for me. I know they should have. Maybe I'm not European enough? The European elections were almost like a really bad support band for the main act, the real deal, the referendum.

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