Petrol U-turn fuels Ed's victory as panic at the pumps returns

UK Political Editor

Thursday 28 June 2012

RED Ed has never looked so happy.

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sketch Michael Settle

After the political gift of the omnishambles Budget, surely, the comrades thought, the Tory toffs could not be generous enough to come up with yet another neatly packaged U-turn, could they? Cue scrapping the fuel tax hike just hours after Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls had demanded it.

The chief comrade, as if consuming a gourmet dinner, savoured every line as he quoted Dave's earlier words about how he was deeply involved in creating the Budget and would defend every single part of it. What, Ed asked to Labour cheers, had gone wrong?The PM came up with the remarkable Dave in Wonderland thinking that because it was originally a planned Labour tax rise – which he had for months supported and which his ministers had insisted up until Tuesday was justified – then scrapping it could not be counted as a U-turn. As Labour MPs gleefully made U-signs with their fingers, Ed could not get to the despatch box quickly enough to point out how in his haste to make U-turn number 35 the PM had forgotten to tell the entire Cabinet, including the Transport Secretary."Let's call it as it is – another case of panic at the pumps," blasted Ed to a chorus of cheers.The shiny-faced premier rose slowly and insisted – to disbelief all round – that the Leader of the Opposition should be congratulating the Government for doing something he agreed with. Red Ed then accused the submarine Chancellor of hiding away and sending out the Treasury's most green lieutenant, Chloe Smith, to defend the Government's latest U-turn before chief inquisitor Jeremy Paxman, who left her burnt to a crisp. He quoted Tory MP Nadine Dorries –who has dubbed George Osborne an out-of-touch posh boy – saying: "'If Osborne sent Chloe on, he is a coward as well as arrogant.'"The PM countered by insisting Red Ed was concerned about process but was wrong time and again on substance. He then desperately called him "absolutely hopeless".The chief comrade ended on a high. Referring to how Dave had condemned the tax affairs of comedian Jimmy Carr but was giving a £40,000 tax cut for other millionaires, including those in the Cabinet, Ed snipped: "It's obviously one rule for the comedians on the stage and another rule for the comedians in the Cabinet." As the comrades hooted, Dave turned a nice shade of imperial purple.

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Petrol U-turn fuels Ed's victory as panic at the pumps returns

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