Unspun

The Pub Landlord - also known as comedian Al Murray - pledged to appoint Alex Salmond First Minister of Norwich "so he really knows what it's like to be ignored by the rest of Britain". This, of course, was part of his manifesto for the voters of Thanet South, where he will challenge that well known pub regular Nigel Farage at the general election. His chances? Bookies Paddy Power made The Pub Landlord a 50/1 shot, Hills made him an even bigger outsider at 80/1.

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The SNP attempted to rewrite history this week with regards to its treatment time guarantee.

The flagship law, introduced by Nicola Sturgeon as health secretary, offers a "legal guarantee to give certainty" to patients that they would receive operations within 12 weeks. Or so we were told when it came into force back in 2012.

But after it emerged that health boards had breached the legislation more than 12,000 times, it now appears this cast-iron promise enshrined in law had been just another NHS target all along.

"That 98 per cent of patients have been treated within the twelve week target is testament to the fantastic work of our NHS staff," backbencher Bob Doris claimed in a party press release.

The Unspun team is delighted - by Bob's logic, presumably that means we only have to follow the Government's tougher drink drive limit on 49 mornings out of 50?

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The referendum has been responsible for a series of terms entering the political lexicon. Indyref even went mainstream, making it into the dictionary.

Most are harmless. But one led to groans emanating from Unspun office this week that must have echoed through the corridors of Holyrood. We came across an online campaigner for independence who saw fit to proudly proclaim himself a "JedAye".

Do you know of a more cringeworthy term inspired by Scotland's constitutional future? Tweet us @Unspunherald and let us know.

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Nicola Sturgeon tried being down with the kids while giving a talk at a girls school in Glasgow.

She said as well as the TV, phone and penicillin Scots invented cool stuff, like video games and asked who plays Grand Theft Auto?

Stony silence and not a single hand went up. Then she realised the teachers were all at the back watching closely.

"You're probably not allowed to admit to that." She quickly recovered.

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Nat MSP Joan McAlpine sparked a minor furore this week by choosing to use her weekly newspaper column to attack councils.

As well as suggesting that non-SNP councils were corrupt and that anyone who wanted to transfer power from Edinburgh wanted to "bring down Holyrood", she also claimed the Scottish Parliament had a greater "democratic mandate" than local authorities. The evidence she cited for this was that Holyrood elections "attract more voters than councils, where turnout is under 40 per cent."

She has a point - the last Scottish Parliamentary election had a 50 per cent turnout. But then, in the last General Election, more than 65 per cent of voters cast a ballot. So there you have it - Westminster has a greater democratic mandate than Holyrood, according to Joan McAlpine.

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Much debate over the rights and wrongs of the House of Lords this week following haggis-gate.

Interestingly the issue itself is alive and well (no sniggers at the back) among peers themselves.

Last week they debated a motion from a backbencher arguing for a "reduction in the number of Peers attending the House each day without recourse to primary legislation".

Lord Williams of Elvel told fellow peers that daily attendance had risen from 388 to 497.

As he pointed out that means at certain times, those who are they quite literally cannot all fit in the chamber.

But his colleagues may be less pleased with him pointing out that voting lobbies are frequently "too crowded for comfort".

A case for more haggis not less?