SCHADENFREUDE, the joy of revelling in someone else's misfortune, is a rather popular pastime on the green benches.

Having accused the Tory toff of gloating over his General Election victory, it was time for the Labour toff to indulge in her own gloating over her opponent's discomfort on Heathrow Airport expansion.

It may be remembered that Blue Dave famously declared that "no ifs, no buts", there would be no third runway at Heathrow. But, of course, the Davies report has recommended just that and so the Conservative pilot had to do some nifty manoeuvring; which was, to insist that it was a jolly big report and that it would take a jolly long time to consider it.

But with a number of Tory Ministers known to be viscerally against extra tarmac at Heathrow, not to mention the blonde Beatle in City Hall, Hattie could not resist the urge to tweak the PM's nose.

She noted, to Labour's nodding heads, that while Flashman gave the impression of a proper process, No 10 was privately briefing the Heathrow option was not going to get off the ground.

"It looks like the Prime Minister has been overruled by the member for Uxbridge(Bozza, that is). You should tell him he's not the leader of the Tory party yet...Will you stand up for Britain's interests or will you just be bullied by Boris?"

Dave grinned and told Hattie she should not believe everything she read in the papers, noting: "It would probably be good for your blood pressure if you didn't as well as good for mine."

But the goading wasn't over as the acting chief comrade declared: "It seems like you are in a holding pattern above Heathrow and Boris won't let you land."

The PM also had the unusual experience of a serial bombardment from the Scottish Nationalists, who complained repeatedly about the imminent introduction of English Votes for English Laws, which, they claimed, would reduce Scottish MPs to "second-class status".

Angus Robertson, the SNP 's Gracious Leader, also accused Dave of planning to reduce Scottish MPs to a minority pursuit on the Scottish Affairs Committee by filling it with English MPs. "Is this what you mean when you say the respect agenda?" barked the big A.

Raising his nose, Flashman snipped back and said he could not help but notice that when the Bill on giving Scotland more powers was debated, none of Scotland's 59 MPs argued for the devolution of the state pension. Funny that.

"In other words, the principle of pooling and sharing our resources and risks across the UK, which I believe in as leader of the UK, is apparently shared by the SNP."

There was time for one more bombardment, this time from the 83-year-old Dennis Skinner with the Beast of Bolsover, to comradely cheers, firing his finger accusingly at the PM for "not having the guts" to save the miners of Hatfield Colliery in South Yorkshire.

Dave had, of course, seen it all before, rose and barked back: "Very good to see the Labour Party in full voice cheering on Jurassic Park. I would stick to the movie."