The holiday season is upon us.

My only recent excursion has been to London via the east coast rail line, now operated by the UK government after National Express "walked away" from the franchise because it was too expensive. Once aboard, I waited eagerly for a new generation of customer service to begin. I imagined, for a start, a big increase in staffing on the new public sector railway - a train crew of perhaps 15 or 20? A major rebranding would be needed too, with designer uniforms showcasing the discreet logo of UKRI ("UK Rail Investments, part of the UK Financial Investments family").

Next I looked forward to a catering upgrade, perhaps to a bistro-style diner with choice of ethnic cuisine, to reflect diversity, and a new Bistro Credit voucher system for those on benefits. However, I feared a slightly slower journey, what with the capital spending axe poised to fall over the 10-year rail programme, and I braced myself for a substitute bus service between Durham and Stevenage. Finally I looked forward to a revamp of those verbose, stilted, irritating, and largely superfluous "announcements" that seem calculated to ruin every train trip, with their constant whinings: don't leave your enormous suitcase behind, don't fall down the non-existent gap, don't smoke in a five-mile radius of the platform, don't use the wrong ticket on pain of bankruptcy, and so on. I had hoped perhaps for stirring music and messages from our leaders - Lord Mandelson or John Prescott? - and reminders that travelling by train (or by train, bus, then train again) was the right thing to do. But to my dismay, it was National Express welcoming me aboard, and launching into the first reading of its tedious script, as if nothing had changed.

Meanwhile, some Scots are welcoming relatives back to join in the "Homecoming".

Frank Kelly left Scotland in 1962. He is back from Toronto for the first time in six years to visit brother-in-law Alan Kerr in Tillicoultry, and when he first arrived, popped into the local bank to cash an American Express sterling travellers cheque. "We visited my local Clydesdale Bank to cash some of these," Alan says, "to be told that Clydesdale had a policy of not cashing such cheques. Further probing by me elicited that if a UK citizen bought cheques, but did not use all of them, then the bank would cash them when the customer returned.

"However, we were told that the Post Office would cash them. Our local sub- PO had never had such a request, so they phoned their own Helpline - the answer was that only a main PO could do this, but the nearest was in the next town.

"Being Saturday afternoon, I reckoned that would be a wasted journey, but someone said Thomas Cook travel agents would cash them, which was what we finally did. Unfortunately they charged a 2% fee - though these were sterling cheques!"

Lloyds TSB claimed to be "gobsmacked" at this story, and assured me that they cash Amex sterling travellers cheques without batting an eyelid - or charging a fee. They do, however, charge for any non-Amex cheques.

Alan says: "If other Scottish banks can cash them, why not the Clydesdale, remember this is Homecoming Year!"

A Clydesdale spokesman confirmed that this was indeed "the bank's policy". He was unable to comment on the Homecoming.