The 'Genie Army' are not exactly the Chelsea Headhunters.

On tour, the loyal following of Canada's Eugenie Bouchard like to express their enduring support by throwing miniature children's toys in their favourite's path. There is only one problem: aside from one lonely Cindarella figure, this has singularly failed to occur at this year's Wimbledon. She is not throwing the toys out of the pram just yet. "Well, it's Wimbledon," Bouchard said. "Everyone is really classy here." She obviously hasn't met your diarists.

Some British tennis players just don't help themselves. Dan Smethurst, a first-round loser against John Isner, comes from a place called Failsworth. At least it wasn't its larger nearby neighbour, Epic Failsworth.

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An unconvincing uncle. Toni Nadal swears blind that his nephew Rafa, sitting on 14 major titles, never even gives a moment's thought to overhauling Roger Federer's tally of 17 slams. "He wants to win maybe one, two, three or maybe four more," the Spaniard says. Why don't we just round it up and call it four, Toni?

Le Monf is on grass. Actually so laid back was Gael Monfils after his erratic victory over Malik Jaziri that he might have been smoking some. "I'm very relaxed," the Frenchman said. "I'm just the coolest ever on grass."

There was a British success story yesterday when Jamie Delgado, a journeyman most usually sighted in the doubles, wrote his name into the event's all-time record book. Partnering Gilles Muller in the men's doubles - the giant Luxembourger takes on Roger Federer in the singles today - this was the 37-year-old's 23rd consecutive appearance at the event. Apparently Henman Hill or Murray Mound now has to be named Delgado Dale in his honour.

Those clever people at the Beano don't miss a trick. Days after Andy Murray was talking about guest editing the publication, here they were, selling it at £2 a time on the way up from Southfields tube. Diarist the younger decided to buy one. It was a comic moment.

Rummage note. A G4S manager has wandered over to the search area, and is remonstrating with a staff member. The only words overheard are "30-piece cutlery set" and a "butter dish". To think Scottish football fans are happy with a pie and Bovril.