A Rolling Stone gathers no moss? I’m sure if you peer closely at Mick Jagger’s jowls, there will be a slight accumulation of lichen, like those stubborn, green deposits you used to get on the window seals of an Austin Allegro.
But having enjoyed the thrusts, lunges, shoogles and tireless gyrations of 75-year-old Mick and the boys at Murrayfield over the weekend, it’s clear that time continues to stand still for these cherished Rock ‘n’ Roll antiquities. Which brings us tick-tocking nicely into this week’s offerings …
SHOT CLOCK MASTERS GETS THEM MOVING
We all know that tournament golf can often be as slow as the process of geomorphology but, whether you thought the Shot Clock Masters was a gimmick or a goer, at least it tried to get things shifting.
It may have been a field of just 120 and was devoid of the tour’s top players, but there was evidence to suggest that the pros can get going. The first round average time, for instance, was 4 hours 13 minutes, compared to the usual 4 hours 47 minutes.
Some may mutter that this continues the trend of the game’s dumbing down to fit in with a modern society obsessed with instant gratification but, whether you’re a spectator or a major sponsor, there are plenty of occasions when golf can be a major turn off.
While you have to be wary of compromising the integrity of the game, there is certainly scope for expansion, not just experimentation. Putting some of the game’s most high-profile slow coaches and serial pace of play offenders under the shot clock spotlight really would be a statement of intent.
Actions speak louder than words, but the game’s officials, in the US in particular, have still to show the courage of those convictions.
CURTIS CUP SLAUGHTER STOKES UP OLD DEBATE
The USA winning a Curtis Cup in their own backyard is hardly an earth-shattering development but the 17-3 savaging that GB&I suffered over the weekend in New York was particularly grisly.
Records tumbled like skittles at a bowling alley during a romp that was as lopsided as Long John Silver after a heavy afternoon on the rum and winkles.
The overall margin of victory was the biggest in the event’s 86-year history while the USA’s rampaging clean sweep of the eight singles was a first. Although GB&I did win in 2012 and 2016, albeit on the more fiddly battlegrounds of links courses which can give them an advantage, the immediate reaction after such a heavy defeat tends to be one of the knee-jerk variety.
The old chestnut of expanding the GB&I set-up to include a wider European involvement has been a long-standing issue, though. Given the current political climate, Boris Johnson and his Brexiteers will probably get involved.
The current world amateur rankings has a Swede, a Swiss, a Spaniard and a Dutch girl in the top 20. There is plenty of talent and a combined European fleet could be a very strong force.
The cup itself is inscribed with the words of the event’s founding sisters, Harriot and Margaret Curtis, who wanted the contest “to stimulate friendly rivalry among the women golfers of the many lands”.
Will those many lands be incorporated one day? Goodness knows. In this game, history and tradition don’t make change easy.
TIME GOES BY ON TIGER’S MAJOR HAUL
It was the win that proved Tiger Woods had the kind of bionic powers that would’ve had Steve Austin questioning his own Six Million Dollar Man status. We’re all human, though.
This week’s US Open marks the 10th anniversary of Tiger’s14th and last major triumph. It was also the American’s most extraordinary as he hirpled to play-off glory with a ruptured ACL and a double stress fracture of his leg.
In the decade that has followed, Woods has plumbed the depths of professional, personal and physical despair. A decade on, he’s back in the major hunt again.
A lot has happened since 2008 ... but that ferocious competitive will remains.
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