REDEMPTION was the word David Millar used to describe his Commonwealth Games gold medal in the men's cycling time trial in Delhi four years ago, but as he prepares to defend that title in Glasgow he has an altogether different sentiment in mind.
For the Scottish cyclist it marks an opportunity to say goodbye to a sport that, at different times, has made and broken him. Millar, who will also contest the road race on Sunday, is expected to compete only a handful more times before bringing the curtain down on a 17-year professional career.
Having been dropped by his professional team Garmin-Sharp for the Tour de France due to doubts about his fitness, the 37-year-old said he was feeling in decent form ahead of today's time trial and that his preparation has come together better than he thought it would four weeks ago.
"When I found out I wasn't going to be doing the Tour I thought it was all going to come crumbling down," he acknowledged. "But it's ended up being really good and I've managed to get myself back in the game, as they say. I've been training hard for two-and-a-half weeks and feeling pretty good."
He was bluntly honest when asked about his hopes for today's event, intimating that his strongest suit may be Sunday's road race. "I'm not confident of winning the time trial but I'm confident that I'm going well, so hopefully I won't be an embarrassment," said Millar. "But I'm really looking forward to the road race. I think I'm ready for that so that will be my best chance."
Millar passed up the opportunity to represent Scotland at the 1998 Commonwealth Games in Kuala Lumpur but said that things had "come full circle". Competing in Glasgow has also helped "put everything in perspective" and salve the wounds of missing out on what would have been his final Tour de France.
"I now understand how much more important this is to me than racing for a corporate team," he said. "Pulling on a jersey and racing for Scotland is who I am."
It is Millar's belief that competing in today's time trial would be a "less emotional" experience than in Delhi, but equally he hopes to be buoyed by the cheering spectators lining the road race route on Sunday. "I've got to keep my head on as the time trial is such a cold and calculating event," he said. "In the road race I think it won't be such a bad thing to tap into those emotions because it's going to be a pretty crazy race, especially with the home crowd.
"I'll probably get carried away, as tends to happen. Hopefully it will happen because that will work well for me. It's a bit of a cliche, but this is a once in a lifetime experience. It's my last chance."
Millar, who was suspended from professional cycling between 2004 and 2006 after admitting to taking the banned blood-boosting hormone erythropoietin (EPO), now sits on the athletes' commission of the World Anti-Doping Agency.
Born in Malta, he spent his early years in Lossiemouth, where his father Gordon, a pilot, was stationed. While he has also lived in Hong Kong, France and Spain, Millar's fond memories of Glasgow, where he and sister Fran would visit their grandmother in her tenement flat in Maryhill, endure. That feeling was only strengthened during the darkest days of his cycling career.
"I saw Scotland as a haven during my ban," he said. "It's a haven being among Scots wherever I am in the world. When you do hang out with them I suddenly realise all the quirks I have in my personality are perhaps more to do with my background.
"I felt that the Scots were the most forgiving and understanding of me when all the s*** went down. I'd come to Edinburgh and Glasgow and some people would recognise me and just come up and say: 'You all right, big man?'
"They would treat me very normally. It meant a lot at the time. It's the only place in the world where people call me 'Davie Millar'."
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article