Michael Grant: Neil Warnock on kilt-wearing, applying to manage Hearts, and signing Charlie Green

"So I'm stood there in my kilt and these two young ladies are looking at me. Then they gesticulated at me with their camera, as if to say 'can we have a photo'. I put my arms around them and someone took the picture. Then I turn to them and say 'how long have you two been interested in football?' Neither of them could speak any English. They just wanted a picture of any old 'Scotsman' in a kilt. I thought they recognised me . . ."

In a few weeks' time Warnock will reach his 65th birthday. It's difficult for the brain to compute the notion of Warnock being of pensionable age, not least because anyone who enjoys his quick-witted, blunt and opinionated views has to be up pretty early in the morning to get their fill of him. Since his last job in management ended at Leeds United in April, he has taken on media work including a 6am-10am shift on Talksport every Friday, another stint on the station on Monday, and work as a match summariser for the new television channel BT Sport. He does one of the radio shifts from his home in Cornwall, the other in London, and the telly work can take him anywhere. And by Warnock's own insistence 'anywhere' includes regular games in Scotland.

In the course of a 33-year career in management - in his first job he signed a certain Charles Green as a striker, more of which later - Warnock had 13 clubs and more fall-outs than a parachute training flight. He was abrasive, mouthy and fearless, wading in where others would tred on eggshells. His Wikipedia entry has a section on disputes broken into five categories: players, managers, referees, clubs, plus chairmen and directors. Maybe his most memorable quotes were on El Hadji Diouf, who was "the gutter type" and a "nasty little person" who Warnock "was going to call him a sewer rat but that might be insulting to sewer rats." Diouf replied that Warnock was "a sh*t". Twenty months later Warnock signed Diouf and they got on like a house on fire.

It's odd that someone so utterly at home in the gladiatorial bearpit of football can be a pussycat away from the game. At Sheffield United, Crystal Palace, QPR, Leeds and nine other clubs Warnock was an irascible, take-him-or-leave-him force of nature. Now, over almost an hour's conversation the other day, he could not have been more engaging and agreeable company. More to the point, if he's ever short of a bob or two he need only give VisitScotland a call. They would be hard pushed to find anyone more evangelical about this country.

He goes way beyond paying lip service. He has a holiday cabin in Dunoon and is back there every four or five weeks. He goes fishing, walking, golfing and quad biking with his family. He's taken his teams on pre-season tours to Scotland and gets double-takes when he turns up at SPFL Premiership and even lower league football: a Yorkshireman perfectly at home in Scotland.

His first exposure to Scottish fans came at Wembley, back in the days when a lubricated Tartan Army descended in tens of thousands. He remembers that packed, steaming terrace. "The lad in front of me, a big Scottish lad, he had this big overcoat on. He turns round and he's looking at me. He goes 'do ye want a dram?' I say 'what you got?' I didn't want him to know I was English. So he opens up his big coat and he has about 20 pockets with different drinks, both sides. A portable bar. So I had a whisky. To see the Scots take over and come down Wembley Way, I think it was one of the most amazing atmospheres ever.

"I like the humour of the Scots. They are so passionate. It rubs off on you. Down here football has become a little bit prawn cocktail. It's not just the money the players are earning at the top level, I just think the Scots are more down to earth. When I went to see Stuart McCall recently - I did Motherwell- St Johnstone - I asked if I could have a look around the club and the friendliness around the whole place was terrific. The staff, the players, the cleaning ladies, everyone. For me, that's how football should be. That's what I miss. It's not about players putting the headphones on and shooting off as soon as training's finished, not wanting to go round the community or sign autographs. We have to get back to basics. When you're in England you tend to think 'ach it's only Celtic up there'. But when you see games it's far better than you imagine it to be."

There is an obvious question for a high-profile, unemployed, available manager with a passion for Scottish football: would he fancy a job here? He splutters out an answer that he doesn't really want a job anywhere. "No, no, no, no, no! The only thing I would probably consider is going in somewhere in February if a club was struggling and try to help them finish the season. The last three clubs I've had have all had new owners, none of whom knew anything about football. In the past all you had to worry about was signing players. Now it's a nightmare. Dealing with new owners. Social media? It does my head in. Players and chairmen tweeting each other? That's not right in my eyes."

In April he set the social media ablaze - well, those who use it to obsess over Scottish football - by turning up at Ibrox to watch Rangers play Peterhead. Two and two were immediately put together. "They took a picture of me in the directors' box and it was in paper the following day! I've known Ally McCoist for a few years." So he was never offered the Rangers job by Green? "No. Listen, if I was after the job I wouldn't have gone to the game. There's no way I would embarrass anyone by doing that. I just wanted to go and see Ibrox. I know Charles Green. I signed him as a player.

"My first job in management was a place called Gainsborough Trinity and Charlie - I called him Charlie - played for Goole Town. He used to have long hair like a Beatle and his socks rolled down around his ankles. He never used to run, he never used to try a leg outside the box. But give him a chance in the box and he'd score it. He wasn't my type of player, but I wanted somebody to score goals so I signed him. And of course he went on in football and ended up at Sheffield United which was where I met him again. I said: 'How are you Charlie?' He went: 'It's Charles . . .'"

Whenever Warnock really has been interested in a job in Scotland it hasn't got him anywhere: Inverness, Hearts and Aberdeen. "I've been in for a couple. I applied for the Hearts job just before the Lithuanians came in. I applied for the Aberdeen job. Laurent D'Jaffo [former Pittodrie striker] said 'gaffer you'd do well there, it's a nice place but it's f****** cold'. I've never had an interview for any of them. I never even got a reply from Hearts. When the Lithuanians took over one of them phoned me and asked was I interested. I said yes, but I never heard from them again. Hearts is a big club. I've always liked their colours."

Does he support a Scottish team? "Yes I do. I blinking do, son. I've got bricks in the wall at Greenock Morton! Just over the water. In fact the missus is cheesed off because the day we went in I only had the money on me to pay for three bricks, so me, Amy and William [his children] put our names on them and we didn't think about Sharon. So we went to see them one day and of course she didn't have a brick so she played up bloody hell."

Warnock is chuckling away at this. It's as if the very thought of anything to do with Scotland irons out all his creases. At Blairmore and Strone Golf Club, his cherished local course in Dunoon, he uses the locker in the olden wooden clubhouse that his wife's granddad used to have. The rental charge is £1 per year, and the very thought of it gives him another warm smile.