Well, here we are at Augusta National, that genteel, manicured, jaw-droppingly immaculate expanse of land that makes the floral art and grandiose gardens of Capability Brown look like the slap- dash creations of some ham-fisted oaf who's run amok with a pair of blunt lopping shears.
Some have suggested that this exclusive club is a bit like heaven, only harder to get in. Thank goodness, then, for that trusty, dog-eared document known as the press pass which allows us mere mortals to waddle triumphantly through golf's equivalent of the Pearly Gates. As the members of the world's media charge down Magnolia Lane, the giddy mix of scribblers, broadcasters and commentators are all salivating at the prospect of what's to come this week as the 77th Masters tournament gets under way. We certainly won't be short of things to mull over. The frenzied build-up to this year's scrap for the green jacket has already thrown up more storylines than a rummage through the dusty archives of the Jackanory series.
Will a resurgent Tiger Woods get his quest to overhaul Jack Nicklaus' record plunder of 18 majors back on the road again and end his five-year drought in the grand slam events? Will Rory McIlroy build on his best finish of the year in Texas on Sunday and exorcise those Augusta demons of 2011 when he imploded on the final day? Will a player employing a long putter and utilising the much-talked about anchoring method come out on top on Sunday and add more fuel to the fire? And when will the PGA Tour break its silence over the long-running saga involving Vijay Singh, the Masters champion in 2000, who will play this week with the cloud of a banned-substance controversy still hanging over his head?
Despite all the attention the big-hitters on parade in this corner of Georgia will receive, there will be a fair bit of focus on two 58-year-old women who have slipped themselves into golf's most prized blazer.
Condoleeza Rice, the former US secretary of state, and Darla Moore, a high-ranking South Carolina financier, were unveiled last August as the club's first female members. Back in 2003, the tireless activist, Martha Burke, led a rally across the street from Augusta National urging the inclusion of women in this bastion of all-male exclusivity. A decade on, and the doors have creaked open. Admittedly, Rice and Moore are hardly your average Agnes or Bessy. Given that they had already forged formidable reputations and a global status to match before membership was dished out, it would be fair to say that Augusta needed them more than they needed Augusta. Some critics said the decision was tokenism, but in terms of bolstering their image by doing the right thing, the top brass at Augusta National certainly hit a cracker out of the screws. Whether that significant decision last year acts as a catalyst for similar change in the all-male Royal & Ancient back home remains to be seen, but the sight of Rice and Moore ambling about in their green jackets will have those at the St Andrews-based governing body bracing themselves for another fearsome barrage on the issue of equality.
But let's focus on matters on the course and look forward to what should be another enthralling week of golf amid the azaleas and dog woods.
Unless you've been living in a cave, with your head encased in a concrete block, for the past few weeks, it has been impossible to ignore the furore surrounding Woods' wizardry. We've heard the cries "he's back" countless times during his rehabilitation over the past couple of years but those hollers have reached new levels of late. From the depths of personal, physical and professional despair, Woods has mounted a quite epic salvage operation. Whatever your views on him, in the wake of the self-imposed scandal that engulfed him, you have to admire the way he has doggedly dragged himself out of the mire with the kind of mental fortitude that is the preserve of only a chosen few.
Under the glare of the public eye, he'd lost almost everything, from his marriage, his fans and his endorsements to his gallus swagger, his aura of invincibility and his world No.1 ranking. As he recently said in an advertisement, however, "winning takes care of everything" and with three wins already this season, those are ominous words for the rest. Like Woods, McIlroy exists under a giant microscope and the pandemonium surrounding him knows no bounds. Knee-jerk reaction and wild rushes of judgment about his form follow him around like a private detective, but the young Northern Irishman seems to be at his most dangerous when he's being questioned and his morale-boosting and momentum-building runner-up finish behind the rampant Scot, Martin Laird, on Sunday could not have been more timely.
Laird certainly got his timing right with an out-of-the-blue win in Texas that helped him barge his way into the Augusta field. A quarter of a century ago, his countryman, Sandy Lyle, won the weekend before the Masters and went on to capture the green jacket. What are the chances of Laird being the master 25 years on? Now, that would be some story.
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