In Glesca terms, it is therefore a gallery full of free coupons. My visit to said gallery on my annual trip to London with my daughter was made particularly special by the deployment of the Tartan Army in Trafalgar Square.
It is edifying, on a Wednesday afternoon in London, to ponder William Nicholson's woodcuts before venturing out to watch Scotland's half-cuts.
One could immediately sense the presence of Scotland's finest by the tangy waft of lager on the London air and the sounds of Doe, A Deer rising from the bowels of the square and, presumably, the bowels of a thousand bekilted singers.
The choice of song is, one supposes, ironic. It comes from the Sound of Music and is sung by a nation that does not have a footballer who can Von Trapp a ball, although it does have a surfeit of players who can tackle like Julie Andrews. The Sound of Music also contains, of course, the tribute to the Aberdeen supporter on an expensive trip to Europe: The Lonely Goatherd.
And the traditional verdict on the expected result of a Scotland World Cup qualifier: Sixteen, Going on Seventeen.
The sight of the Scotland supporters reminded me there was a match on so I immediately took refuge in a musical. It is what I increasingly do as I embrace my metrosexual side, or Darren as I call him.
The football musical is usually restricted to songs about the sexual preferences of opposing players, the remnants of history and failings of the officials. Not quite the Book of Mormon, more the Boak of Moron. But here - to a chorus of joy, no doubt - is another of Merry Mac's hilarious lists. To wit, and to half-wit, 10 football musicals:
10 Dirty Dancing Based on a true story. A Tartan Army supporter strips and frolics naked in the Trafalgar Square fountain. Subtitled: No-one puts Boaby in a corner.
9 carousel A fans' lament at the airport after another defeat in Europe. Includes the show-stopping number: 'Tam, did I even bring a soddin' case?"
8 9 to 3 Dolly Parton plays Frank Haffey in the re-run of the awful Wembley defeat. Insert own joke about mammary glands here.
7 a chorus line An identity parade of Tartan Army footsoldiers causes alarm when they expose their buttocks to a succession of witnesses to an alleged series of incidents of indecent exposure. All are cleared after convincing pleas of not guilty by insanitary.
6 rock of ages A paeon to the junior centre-half. It includes Great Balls of Fire, the story of liniment and a jockstrap; Ragdoll, the tale of an unfortunate striker tussling with said centre-half; and Whiter Shade of Pale, the description of a centre-forward facing an opponent more ferocious than a wolverine with a hangover and an abscessed tooth.
5 wizard of oz Craig Whyte stars as Dotty who promises an exciting journey along streets paved with gold. Instead, the road is of the yellow brick variety with the hue being effected by a surfeit of horse manure.
4 jersey boys This was once known as Playing for the Jersey Boys . But Bosman came in and the first words were dropped. The plot concerns some of the group paying off another's debt to the bookies. This, of course, would never happen in real life.
3 les miserables Auditioning in Scotland had to be stopped after four million people turned up. Apparently, casting directors, astounded by the veritable sea of depression in front of them, were uncomprehending when the auditioners said they could only be made less miserable by the provision of le soupe electrique. The plot concerns Javert (Willie Miller) pursuing for 30 years Jean Valjean (a referee).
2 the king and i The story of an unlikely alliance at the heart of Rangers. A Scot returns to his homeland determined to find his fortune. Unfortunately, someone else has found it first. And spent it.
1 thriller A fantastic, adrenaline-filled 90 minutes of superb football action *
* Not available in Scotland