Remember that ludicrous dice game some marketing bright spark thought would be a seller?
You know, the one where life choices were printed on the sides such as "Go to the cinema", "Buy a pizza," "Drive your car off the edge of a cliff, you moron," or "Stick your hand in the fire because this die told you to do it". It was quite a big die.
Procrastination has long been the bane of the Tenner Bet's life but even I didn't buy it as I couldn't decide if it was a good idea or not. Time can be wasted in so many ways. Staring at Twitter without reading anything, flicking through five-year-old football magazines and, my own favourite, accruing stats for bets on dog-eared bits of paper. The hours can just fly by.
Of course, most of these pastimes can, in some shape or form, be carried out on your mobile phone these days but here's where WAP let's you down: unlike said dice game it's not very good at actually making decisions for you. Perhaps the two are connected.
And so, I am faced with the weekly chore of finding some way to give the bookmaker another Paul McKenna. Having visited Oddschecker and various other websites in order that I might be guided in a certain direction I've opted for a quick roll of the die and up came . . .
THE LOCKINGE STAKES
Taking a sample of stats that share the profile of previous winners of this over a 13-year period we can start to draw up a list of positives and negatives for the 13 runners declared for today's race at Newbury. All pass the five-race minimum qualifying standard that has been the hallmark of all 13 winners but several fall short on Group 1 or Group 2 appearances last time out. It's a black mark against the names of Aljamaaheer, Amaron, the favourite Declaration Of War, Fencing and Sovereign Debt.
There are negatives on age for the second favourite Cityscape and its fellow seven-year-old Penitent. Aljamaaheer, Fencing and Reply are let down by the minimum requirement of three wins (12 of 13) while the same figure had also competed in at least two Group 1 races.
That's a negative for Aljamaaheer, Chil The Kite, Declaration Of War, Libranno and Sovereign Debt. Twelve previous winners had also won over a mile previously. Poor Aljamaaheer hasn't a chance on these stats while Libranno and Reply are similarly ill-disposed on the distance stat. Of the names that haven't been mentioned there is the serial second-place finisher Farhh, who twice chased home Frankel, in the Sussex Stakes at Goodwood and the Juddmonte International at York last year. Richard Hannon's Trumpet Major and Sir Henry Cecil's Beauty Parlour are the other main players based on the very strongest stats.
THE BET
When a succession of other barometers are measured and applied to the three remaining horses, one sticks out like a sore thumb. Fortunately, it is one that can be manicured with a nail file and some polish because the filly Beauty Parlour gets bonus points on everything from Group 1 wins to sire progeny and at 7/1 represents great value for the race. Certainly, better than those at the head of the market.
SEASON'S TOTAL
Kimi Raikkonen's second place at the Spanish Grand Prix wasn't enough to give us a return but hinted the Lotus driver might just be a serious contender for the drivers' championship. However, the damage was minor with a tenner staked. The total is £88.97.
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