Signs it's summer.
Supermarket cashiers confront you with "well, that's our summer over" after a day of rain follows a week of sun. Your back starts itching, a response to regrowth after an ill-considered decision to wax the hair off it because Mrs Tenner Bet tells you "it will help with applying sun cream".
Real football is replaced with pretend football involving teams made up of players you have barely heard of. Hipsters the world over go into paroxysms of delight over the fact Nir Biton is finally showing his true potential for Israel Under-21s, while you were under the impression that Nir Biton is a place called Hove.
There was a time when the Tenner Bet could name just about every player in Europe but as the years have advanced the ability to recall Thorstein Helstad's goalscoring record for Rosenborg (I had to check how Thorstein Helstad was spelt) has faded quicker than a 39-year-old father of three at an Ibizan nightclub. Is this merely the ageing process or a consequence of too many previous jollies in Ibizan nightclubs? Who knows? I can barely remember the question.
The general point, I think, is this: summer used to be a time when footballers took a break. The former Tottenham, Dundee and Scotland footballer Alan Gilzean went on a driving holiday to England as he pondered a move from Dens Park to Torino in the summer of 1964. Today's players could practically buy the country they are visiting. Increasingly, though, footballers' holidays are being eaten into and this year we have the Confederations Cup. Not that this author has a great deal of sympathy for the players. My gripe is that we are subjected to white elephant tournaments such as this. In the absence of anything else, though, I'll watch it . . . backscratcher in hand.
BRAZIL v JAPAN
The competition kicks off with the hosts facing a team they have not lost to. In fact, Japan can claim just two draws in the nine meetings since the sides' first played each other in 1989. Few countries have done more than Brazil in helping to promote the game in Japan but they haven't been as munificent on the pitch, handing out 4-0 and 4-1 spankings in the most recent fixtures.
Indeed, Brazil minus a goal would have paid out in six of their seven victories over tonight's opponents. Luiz Felipe Scolari is under pressure to improve following some unimpressive performances and has picked a young squad which will no doubt be looking to make an impression ahead of next year's World Cup.
SPAIN v URUGUAY
As recently as February, the world champions swept aside the team that finished third in South Africa. The South Americans are struggling in World Cup qualifying, currently lying five points adrift of the automatic places.
Most of their problems emanate from their coach Oscar Washington Tabarez's difficulties in trying to incorporate Edinson Cavani, Luis Suarez and Diego Forlan into an attacking trident. Spain have no such identity problems and at 8/13 are decently enough priced.
THE BET
Brazil minus 1 (7/9, bwin) and Spain (8/13, general) in a double pays out at 1.88/1.
SEASON'S TOTAL
No bet for a fortnight which has just been about long enough to forget about the failed Champions League (seconds away from a double pay-out of £100 plus) and Scottish Cup finals. The total is: £48.97
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