You might think that Wimbledon staple "Come on, Tim" was a tired old cliche which has long since run its course.

But no, apparently it is capable of infinite variety and reinvention. Another hilarious variation ensued on Centre Court on Monday. "Come on, Boris," came the shout, in reference to Andy Murray's opponent B (Benjamin) Becker. Perhaps the guy just got confused and thought he was back in the '90s, when this kind of humour originated.

Long-term readers of rummage note may be alarmed to find security standards are slipping. Hot on the heels of the episode where a couple were allowed to smuggle in an oversized Swiss flag after swearing blind "they wouldn't take it out", staff at the exits attempted in vain to conduct bag searches in total darkness. Alas, they managed to miss the statue of Fred Perry which the elder diarist was intent on borrowing for the night.

Some sober reflection from Andrea Petkovic, of Germany, as she speaks of the secrets of her new-found confidence on grass. "Normally when I went into the grass season I was already pissed before I hit one ball," she said. Scottish punters who attend barbecues will sympathise.

Strewth etc. Wee Rusty, aka Lleyton Hewitt, had a ripper in straight sets against Stanislas Wawrinka, defying the dire prognosis of his complicated toe fusion procedure, a surgery which is as excruciating as it sounds. So who, if anyone, had told him to retire? "Nearly everyone," he said. "There were two surgeons, the guy who ended up doing it and one other guy. Probably five, six, seven others that I spoke to. In all my research, I never found an athlete who had it done and tried to come back and play any kind of sport." Apparently, he also managed to shrug off a nasty bout of man flu.

Celeb spotting as the cream of world-class football talent checks in at SW19. First, watching Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, is Nicolas Anelka . . . and then there is St Mirren's Steven Thompson.

Shark Attack. Belgium's Steve Darcis, who has a tattoo of said predator on his shoulder, provides the story of Day 1. Having knocked out Rafael Nadal, he eloquently elaborates on his first thoughts when landing the Spaniard in the draw. "What did I think?" he said. "S***." Darcis faces Lukasz Kubot of Poland in the next round. Mardy Fish can breathe a sigh of relief.