WHO says Australians don't do culture?
Talking about his debut against Scotland in rain-lashed Newcastle last year, Mike Harris decides that a film reference is the best way to describe the conditions he faced. "It was almost like that scene in the Forrest Gump movie, where the rain is actually flying upwards," he smiles.
Granted, the Tom Hanks blockbuster may not be the most morally sophisticated piece of work ever committed to celluloid, but let's cut Harris some slack here. And let's overlook the fact that he's actually not very Australian at all, having been born and raised in New Zealand before he cashed in some ancestry chips to play for the Wallabies. It's still a pretty good image.
Not that Harris has any other fond memories of that brutal evening in New South Wales when an experimental - and, frankly, understrength - Australia side was beaten 9-6 in conditions that merited a forecast beginning Attention All Shipping. At one point, Harris hoisted an up-and-under from his 22, expecting it to drop near halfway, only to watch the wind grab the ball and carry it the length of the pitch to behind Scotland's dead-ball line.
"I looked at the goal posts and they were bending two to three metres with the wind, so we knew we were in for a hard day," the 25-year-old recalls. "I think it definitely evens the playing field, a day like that. It's pretty tough ball-handling and territory becomes a massive thing - you definitely don't want to be in your own half.
"Even kicking the ball from hand was difficult. Just dropping the ball on to your foot, it could go any which way even in such a short distance. So there is no easy way to play in those conditions."
The result, even more than the weather, put a dampener on what should have been a joyous day for the versatile Queensland Reds back, who will start against Scotland at inside-centre today. He made up for it beautifully, 11 days later, when he kicked a last-gasp penalty to beat Wales 25-23 in Melbourne, but the memory of his first Test has remained a festering sore.
"There is definitely something to put right here," he explains. "It was so disappointing to lose on my debut. I still hold those feelings. For me, there is definitely a feeling of wanting to go out there and prove that we can win, prove that we can play good rugby.
"Singing the anthem for the first time was something, although I stood in the line not being able to see because the rain was hitting me in the side of the face so hard. There are different feelings from that day. It was disappointing to lose but I still have special memories about the occasion. But I was massively determined to play Scotland on this tour. I want to get one back, so to speak. This game is hopefully an opportunity for me to do that."
So has he spent the past 17 months loathing everything about Scotland? Does his love of the movies stop short of watching anything starring Ewan McGregor? If he sees a west highland terrier on the streets of Brisbane does he give it a swift kick?
Quite the contrary. "No, I haven't harboured a grudge against all things Scottish," he laughs. "Far from it. I love Edinburgh, apart from the cold. We went to see some of the city earlier in the week, visited the castle. It blows you away, how much history there is here; it feels almost prehistoric compared to what we are used to. It was pretty special, going up there and seeing the One O'Clock Gun go off. We are really experiencing the culture of the place."
Harris has designs on a return visit to these islands in 22 months time as part of the Australia squad at the 2015 Rugby World Cup. With the Wallabies drawn alongside England and Wales in the savagely competitive group A, he appreciates that playing in cold, wet and windy conditions might not provide the most enjoyable rugby, but it could furnish the team with invaluable experience.
"Looking two years down the track, it's a massive part of how we need to play the game," he says. "For us, this is a great opportunity to learn that. We have some good ideas about how we want to go into the [Scotland] game. But things can change - and the more games we get in these conditions, the better."
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