'If you really want something in this life, you have to work hard for it.
Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers'. Homer Simpson.
Those words of wisdom from the sage of Springfield were quoted in Gregor Townsend's autobiography, 'Talk of the Toony', a few years ago. They headed a chapter dealing with Brendan Laney, whose selection for Scotland only days after he had arrived from New Zealand had been opposed by Townsend and a handful of other players.
However, recent events have lent them a distinctly ironic quality as hard work, diligence and serving time at the coaching coal face have not been part of Townsend's own improbable career trajectory. He started near the top, seconded to Edinburgh (under head coach Andy Robinson) in 2008, and was brought into the Scotland fold by Frank Hadden the following year.
His role under Hadden was limited, but Robinson anointed him as his attack specialist when he took charge of Scotland.
He has held that position ever since. Townsend's wider coaching abilities have never been put to the test as he did not go through anything resembling a conventional apprenticeship. However, players and fellow coaches have talked highly of his rugby vision and the originality of his thinking. With a degree in politics and an MBA to his name, his underlying intelligence is beyond question.
However, his career path has caused controversy and disquiet throughout the Scottish game as his rise to the top has seen him overtake a number of top club coaches. Ayr's Kenny Murray, Currie's Ally Donaldson and Craig Chalmers of Melrose have all guided their sides to Scottish titles, but none has been rewarded with a role at either of Scotland's two professional sides. Challenged on that, Townsend said he made no apologies, and that he could only accept what had been offered to him. But wouldn't you like to know his lottery numbers . . .
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