Matthew McVarish, actor

Which school did you go to and when?

As wee Matthew Smith, the youngest of the seven Smith children, I went to Our Lady of Lourdes Primary, and then St Brides High, both in East Kilbride, from 1987 until 2000.

Top teacher?

Mrs Meikle taught Latin at St Brides. The atmosphere in her class was mostly an oasis of quiet learning interrupted sporadically by discussions about either her going to her holiday home in Florida to find it snake-ridden, or about her returning from her holiday house to find her car had been moved during her son's not-so-secret party while she was away.

Were you hard-working or hard work?

I kept my cards close to my chest. I would never reveal any intellect until the exam or deadline. This tactic was admittedly flawed, as my music teacher, Miss Trower, refused to sign the SQA document endorsing my string quartet arrangement of the Red Hot Chili Peppers's Under the Bridge, as she did not believe a waster of my calibre could possibly have originated such an A-gradable composition.

First team for everything or last to be picked?

Losing was inevitable for the unfortunate team forced to pick me.

Belted, birched or bawled out?

No. Butter wouldn't melt.

Sad to say bye or longing to leg it?

My last hours in St Brides High were as Seymour Krelborn, in a performance of The Little Shop of Horrors. Instead of act two, when it arrived, I decided to go on stage with my guitar and, already equipped with a functioning radio mic, I performed a song that I had written that morning for the girlfriend I'd be leaving behind. Future employers please don't fret, such a Dionysus moment of reckless abandon has never gripped me in a professional production, but this unconventional outburst meant I had securely burned my bridges and obviously have never been asked back.

What was your worst year, or your best year?

Best year was third year, I was 14, when I landed a role in my first ever show, the Scarecrow in The Wiz.

What do you wish they taught now?

Latin.

Boys on tour - what was the best school trip you ever had?

In 1994, Mrs Bremner, my Primary 7 teacher, took us to York for a week. The hotel we stayed in was in Scarborough, almost 40 miles away. I am yet to work out why exactly this was always referred to as the "York Trip".

Matthew is appearing as Raymond in Tattiemoon's Me Too! on BBC2 at 9.30am and CBeebies at 9am, 1pm & 5pm daily.