The Edinburgh Fringe is nearly upon us and like most stand-up comics at this time of year I have been taking advantage of the sunshine, the mid-season sales and the hilarious videos my friends and colleagues have been posting on Facebook.
Today's was a particularly gripping two-minute video of a guy jumping into the sea off a cliff and coming face-to-face with a great white shark!
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I know! Terrifying. There then followed much discussion as to whether or not it was real - I'm inclined to believe everything I see and am told and other people seem to be a lot more cynical.
What I'm saying is I'm trying to be disciplined. Really trying.
The show is taking shape. It's a really interesting show this year but a bit short on laughs so far. This will change. It usually does. I didn't want to do a new show until I had something to say and now I do so we will see how it all pans out. I have this little embryo of an idea in November, which grows into a foetus around January, and then I'm forced to choose a name for the Edinburgh brochure by February - which is ridiculous. How can you name a child you've never met? However, I do. I then spend the next six months hoping my baby suits it's name. I'd hate to disappoint people with an anarchic name, only to discover I've given birth to the teachers pet. Similarly, what use is a show-title, which tows the line if I intend to close the show with a firework up my bottom? (I don't as yet but that could all change).
So you can see the predicament I'm in. Before completing a show I like to fill my head full of as many experiences as possible. I believe it all informs the show. Every art form, experience and conversation. This week I attended the summit to end Sexual Violence in Conflict. I spent much of the day weeping in horror. I'm not sure if any of the awful stories I heard will make it anywhere near my show but I will be going to the Kerrang Awards later so I'm hoping rock stars might provide some levity.
Tomorrow morning I am attending my nine-year-old son's assembly, which addresses the subject of Dick Turpin. It seems to me that the majority of the class will be dressing up as that "Dandy Highwayman" Adam Ant which means I'm expecting a real 80's themed 18th century story. A lot of research has gone into this assembly and shouts of "Stand and Deliver" have been ringing throughout our house. Our two-year old is terrified to leave my side. I'm quite pleased about this because compared to writing an Edinburgh show the other task I am currently enduring is potty training.
I used to marvel at parents who said: "Two days and we were trained. He was amazing". This is my third round of potty training. When my boy stares at me with his large limpid unblinking eyes and says: "I want a nappy mummy, it's easier", I can't help but think he is so very bright. Why would you want to go to the toilet and potentially miss out of three solid minutes of fort building fun when you can chuck on a nappy and not miss a second of it? I get that I really do.
Anyway. Enough of the distractions. I have shark videos to watch and a new show to write.
Wendy Wason performs her new stand up show 'Hotel California' at the Gilded Balloon from 30th July - 24th August. Click here for more information and tickets.