Two World Cup finalists niftily negotiated, the rest should be a dawdle, right? With Holland, life is never that simple, not even when their manager, Marco van Basten, appears anointed.
This was indescribably awesome and a humiliating experience for Raymond Domenech. Defeat was inflicted even more enthusiastically and expertly on France as it was the Italians. This after the Dutch displayed a resolve and bravery that was rarely required against Roberto Donadoni's sterile side.
It is a crying shame that the most entertaining and bestfollowed team in Euro 2008 are stuck in the pokiest stadium but they are already destined for a grander stage. They meet the runners-up in Group D, and on this form will obliterate all before them en route to the Ernst Happel Stadium.
They had the vast majority of the Stade de Suisse on their side but, when required, luck favoured the Oranje, too. They escaped a legitimate penalty claim with only Dirk Kuyt's goal to show for their swaggering brilliance. Van Basten then overloaded his team with attackers for the second half. It was a gamble that bordered on recklessness but one that paid off spectacularly. Arjen Robben and Robin van Persie were added to the already heady concoction and combined to score a breakaway goal that punctured France at their most predatory.
Thierry Henry sparked a comeback that lasted precisely 60 seconds. No sooner had he given France renewed hope, Robben hared up the park to scoop a third goal past Gregory Coupet. By then, defence was a futile exercise. Wesley Sneijder earned his second man-of-the-match award with a sensational fourth goal.
Van Basten's tactical bravery was rewarded with an unforgettably beautiful performance, perhaps in spite of the attendant puritan, Johan Cruyff. Holland's greatest ever player and now biggest critic made the journey in a show of solidarity. He did not have to wait long to crack a smile.
Holland continued from where they left off against Italy; their passing sublime, their understanding subliminal. They exhibited an artistry Vincent van Gogh would have been envious of. Inspiration was in plentiful supply but the introduction of Robben at half time was a masterstroke. The Real Madrid winger was rabid after missing the opening game through his latest ailment. Accommodating such an awesome array of attacking talent is a bigger concern for Van Basten than the remaining competition. This is throwback football.
Domenech administered radical surgery of his own, Patrice Evra, Henry and Sidney Govou all featuring in a 4-2-3-1 designed to mirror the Dutch. Immitation is the best form of flattery but there is nothing like the genuine article.
"Ladies and gentlemen, the city centre is very busy," a public announcement declared at the end. The Dutch - 60,000 of them - have colonised the understatedly picturesque town of Berne and, in doing so, have provided one of the most colourful and comical spectacles of Euro 2008. The local council have added a third jumbo screen to the Kornhausplatz to satisfy the demands of non-ticketed supporters who are estimated to have doubled in number since the 3-0 defeat of Italy.
The Neuenegg FanZone has been renamed the Oranje-Dorp. After the Oranje Elvises of the opening game, the tulip car and human clog have joined this wacky-backy wonderland. Famous faces mingled with Joe van der Punter. Arthur Numan, Bert Konterman and Michel Doesburg made their way from Zurich to Berne, blending in anonymously with their own colour-co-ordinated clothing.
Kuyt, having been diligently escorted by Patrice Evra, scored the easiest goal of his career. Rafael van der Vaart's swirling corner ought to have been intercepted by Gregory Coupet. Instead, the Liverpool attacker simply had to poke out his head to beat Coupet and his mannequin marker, Florent Malouda.
Holland spent the rest of the half stroking the ball handsomely and looking for the perfect goal. It almost arrived, Van der Vaart's shot blocked after spraying a sublime sequence of nine uninterrupted one-touch passes across the field. The French became ever more harassed in their efforts. Govou was the most likely source of inspiration, provoking three saves in quick succession from Edwin van der Sar before Ribery's roving run was halted by the goalkeeper.
Remarkably, Holland re-emerged with five attackers afield, Robben replacing Engelaar with Van der Vaart dropping back to help De Jong. Total Football or total madness? France were intent on ensuring the latter. They protested vehemently and justifiably when Henry's shot bounced off the arm of Andre Ooijer. The striker had no-one to blame but himself when, put clean through by Malouda, he fluffed a deft chip over Van der Sar.
The goalkeeper then dismissed Ribery's effort like a volleyball spike before Holland re-established their supremacy. Van Nistelrooy's double dragback sent Robben rampaging down the left and his thumping cross was stabbed home by Van Persie. Robben completed a scintillating cameo while Henry had only just finished celebrating what proved a hollow consolation. Sneijder then turned total football into fantasy football.
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