Andy Bollen – freelance comedy writer
It was December 5, 1991, the Kilburn National venue in London. I was on stage with Nirvana as we played Molly's Lips, a song by The Vaselines. It was their second-last song of an amazing night. I was drunk, pounding away at Dave Grohl's drum kit. At that moment, I knew it would probably be the coolest thing I would ever do.
The band I was in at the time, Captain America, were invited to support Nirvana – Dave, Kurt Cobain and Krist Novoselic – on their Nevermind tour of the UK along with the Japanese group Shonen Knife. The music press were really excited about Nirvana. Their album Nevermind and the single from it, Smells Like Teen Spirit, were changing their lives for ever.
I was introduced to them for the first time at the London Astoria on November 5. Kurt and Dave were both tired and jaded, but they were also pleasant and quietly happy. Kurt spoke in a slow, measured drawl. I was more cautious, but was excited to meet them.
The first thing you noticed about Kurt was his piercing blue eyes. He looked under-nourished, but at the time I didn't know of his health issues – he had problems with his stomach that needed continuous medical monitoring.
He didn't like the industry types when they were overfamiliar with him, but he had a lot of time for genuine fans. My main memory of that tour is of Kurt in a freezing dressing room, dressed in a second-hand overcoat, writing letters or in his journal. He had a strong indie ethos but he was also driven and ambitious. He could be complex too. But he – in fact all of Nirvana – were incredibly supportive towards their support acts.
We played gigs in London, Wolverhampton, Bradford, Birmingham, Sheffield, Edinburgh, Glasgow's Queen Margaret Union, Newcastle, Nottingham and Manchester before finishing at the Kilburn National.
In my book about the tour, based on a diary I kept at the time, I remember my encounters with Kurt. Before the Sheffield gig I visited market stalls nearby and tried on a pair of biker boots, priced £15. I heard an American voice behind me. Kurt was saying, "Just get them, Andy. How much do you need? Here, take it." I also remember, before that same gig, watching Nirvana cringing as they watched themselves doing Top Of The Pops.
I think Kurt wanted to be a pop star. He loved pop music. But once it began to look like they might make it big he got scared by the prospect. Had he been alive today, the success of Nevermind would have had him still scratching his head. They were always conscious of being viewed by their original fan base as a band which had sold out.
The last words Kurt said to me were, "Thanks for coming with us; keep working the diary, man." He died on April 5, 1994. The way I heard about his death was so banal. I was in a pub in my hometown, Airdrie, and someone said to me, "I hear your pal's died – Kurt Cobain. Haven't you heard?" I was shocked and saddened though not surprised. By April 1994 his life seemed so out of control but you still hoped he'd make it through. I hope the book brings Kurt, and that whole period, back to life.
Nirvana: A Tour Diary by Andy Bollen is published by Metro Publishing, priced £7.99. Twitter @nirvanadiary
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