THIS is New Cumnock-based Rab Wilson's light-hearted response to "seein a faimily o whooper swans from Iceland in the field neist ma hoose, juist afore Christmas."
Dear Santa....
Ah'm writin tae say that ah'm fair pit oot,
Six swans in the meedie - sae yin's left oot!
O the Christmas sang - there shuid be seeven!
It's enow tae stairt me stoap believin,
In you, yer reindeers, elves an toys,
(an this year ah'd bin a rael guid boy!!)
Ah blame this Tory 'austerity' -
Thae fowr calling burds wull suin be three!
Six geese wull be five, nou that's some shock!
An Fowr gowden rings (wi yin in hock!)
An the anely thing tae mak Lords leap,
Wull be their 'expenses forms' this week!
We'll hae faur fewer than Eicht Maids,
Cause they winnae pey thaim the 'leevin wage',
The puir auld Drummers hae aa bin sackt,
(They refused new 'Zero Hours' contracts!)
'Swan Upping' tae t'wid seem's bin scuppert,
Fir e'en the Royals are oan their uppers!
There's nae pynt nou hingin up ma stockin,
The kintra's gaun tae the dugs, it's shockin!
Aye Santa, ye'll hae tae dae much better;
Ah've nae e'en a lum tae post this letter!
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