Zoolander 2 (12A)
two stars
Dir: Ben Stiller
With: Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Penelope Cruz
Runtime: 102 minutes
DEREK Zoolander, male model supreme, first came to movie prominence in 2001 with his legendary, sucked-in-cheeks and narrowed eyes look known as “Blue Steel”. Think constipation meets Chanel menswear. Fantastically silly, Zoolander was just the kick in the bumster pants the industry deserved.
A decade and a half on, Derek is back. Which look does the Zoolander concept deserve now? Given the lack of laughs in Ben Stiller’s comedy, and the way it cuddles up to fashion instead of sticking the stiletto in, I reckon one of Paddington Bear’s hard stares is in order.
Multitasking Stiller (Night at the Museum, Tropic Thunder, Meet the Parents) returns as writer, director, star and producer. By the time we meet Zoolander again, the world and fashion have moved on. If you think a week is a long time in politics, etc. The Derek of today is called Eric and lives as a recluse. He is no smarter, having all the brains of a paper bag, but he still looks good, and that’s the main thing.
As luck and the plot would have it, certain people are keen on a Zoolander comeback. Among them is Valentina (Penelope Cruz), the head of Interpol’s fashion division. Valentina is investigating a series of crimes and needs the help of Zoolander and his old mucker Hansel (Owen Wilson).
Alas, Zoolander and Hansel represent the glamorous look of old, and the kids and designers of today want grunge. Pricey grunge, but grunge. It is in this section that some of the sharpest barbs come, giving hope for the rest of the picture after a messy start that takes forever to fill in the back story.
Before long, however, the film starts to rely too heavily on the celebrity cameos that distinguished the first picture. Some 15 years ago the famous faces, from the sublime (David Bowie) to the ridiculous (Donald Trump), twinkled like diamond studs. Here, the cameos are strewn around like cheap sequins. If in doubt, seems to be the rule, bring on a famous face. While non-American audiences will struggle at times to identify several of said faces, there is a nod to an international audience when a certain Scot turns up early on.
That particular joke, like so many, fails to hit the spot. There are smiles to be had from Zoolander 2, just not enough of them. As for big laughs, they are rationed like hens teeth necklaces. Occasionally, a spoof takes flight, as with Kristen Wiig’s barking designer Alexanya Atoz, or Penelope Cruz’s cop. Mostly, as when Benedict Cumberbatch turns up to play a transgender model, the comedy looks dated and tasteless.
What takes the water biscuit, though, is the way the satire simply gives up part way through and the schmoozing begins. Yes, there were famous designers in the first Zoolander, but here they are given far more room to breathe, pose, and, worse of all, deliver lines. Anna, sweetie, darling, stick to the day job as editor of Vogue.
The movies rarely do the fashion industry justice when they come at it head on. The slyly amusing and quietly poignant Breakfast at Tiffany’s said infinitely more about the shallowness of that world than Altman’s scattershot Pret a Porter. Similarly, everything you really needed to know about fashion magazines and Vogue was in the documentary The September Issue, while The Devil Wears Prada at least made plain that the fashion business was just that - a business as cut-throat as any other.
The rules are different, or should be, when it comes to satire. A satire ought to be hated by those being satirised. It should elicit an ouch rather than a purr of approval, which is what Zoolander 2 will likely receive from the fashion crowd. After all this, if you are still in the mood for fashion nostalgia, Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie, with Edina and Patsy making a Zoolander/Hansel return, is out in the summer. Belt and brace yourselves.
Penelope Cruz interview Page 18
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