I HAD a broken washing machine last week. Life on the edge, eh? Leaping into action, I had a look online, took down some numbers, the first chap arrived within two hours, fixed it, bish, bash, bosh, job done.
Now, if I had sent it to The Repair Shop (BBC1, Monday, 4.30pm), the machine would have been lovingly booked in by host Jay Blades, who would have had a nice chat with me about how long I had owned the washer, what it meant to me, etc, before the old dear was wheeled over to a professional for some TLC. In short, it would have taken forever. Can you imagine the pile of washing that would have built up while The Repair Shop elves faffed?
Just as well the shop limits itself to genuine treasures, such as the old radio that Albert and his wife Eileen bought when they were courting in the 1950s. They had taken the radio everywhere and when Eileen passed away it was a great source of comfort to Albert. Then it stopped working, two years to the day that his wife died, and no-one could fix it. As he related this, Albert was in tears. Jay was close. Even I, heart hardened due to recent washing machine troubles, felt a moistening around the eye area.
There were more tears when a dad dropped off a six foot teddy to be seen by “bear repair pair” Julie and Amanda, who made bear/bare jokes to each other, and another couple popped in with a family heirloom clock they wanted to pass on to their son, recently injured in a motorbike accident. The items were things that meant everything to their owners but would have been too expensive, or otherwise difficult, to fix. As a format it was hugely manipulative, but its heart was in the right place and an entertaining 45 minutes was had by all. Indeed, there was only one thing missing from The Repair Shop: a hare called Hartley. Ask your granny.
Grand Designs: The Street (Channel 4, Thursday, 9pm) was in the mood to shake things up. Kevin McCloud showed us a street in Holland where all the homes were self-built. “Now I know what you’re thinking,” he teased. “We couldn’t possibly do that kind of progressive, European thing in Britain, could we? Well you’re wrong, we’re going to!” Sacre bleu Kevin, or whatever they say in Amsterdam.
Cherwell Council had acquired Ministry of Defence land that it could have sold for a lot of pretty pennies to developers. Instead, it priced each lot at 100k and invited the public to build their own homes. The Channel 4 show will be following the building of the first ten houses.
Plots one and two had been bought by three pensioners: Terry, a retired builder, his wife Olwen, and their friend and neighbour, Lynn. That’s planning ahead for you: bringing your own good neighbour. But soon enough, in true Grand Designs style, everyone was exhausted and falling out. Kev felt everyone’s pain and skedaddled, as per.
Summer came round and he returned to see how everything had turned out. All three loved their new places. As for the trio’s friendship, they were speaking again but Lynn did not think it would ever be the same. Then again, the last sight of them featured Terry in a hot tub while Lynn and Olwen sat nearby, sipping wine. One imagines a similar vibe at the talks between Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn. Or perhaps not.
Given that events are still playing out, The Brexit Storm: Laura Kuenssberg’s Inside Story (BBC2, Monday, 9pm), appeared a tad premature. Then again, the not so secret inside story is the same as it has always been, and will always be: the Conservatives’ inability to make their peace with each other over Europe.
Kuenssberg’s film began outside Chequers in the blistering summer heat, where we saw her padding around in her bare feet (back off Julie and Amanda) as she waited to go on camera. When not running around, the BBC’s political editor seemed to be playing the part of therapist to the Tory Party, nodding sympathetically while MPs poured out their woes. One half expected her to end each chat with a look at her watch and a quick, “Sorry, we’re out of time, we’ll resume next week.”
I did like her description of the hard Brexiter European Research Group as being “like Begbie from Trainspotting: politically ruthless, they’ll do anything to get their project through”. No one buy them a pint, for goodness sake.
Farewell, then, This Time with Alan Partridge (BBC1, Monday, 9.30pm), which finished its six-week run. With Alan finally declaring all out war on co-host Jennie – telling a member of the crew that she would smother her own grandmother to get on the cover of Radio Times – was it au revoir or goodbye? The comedy has raised more gasps than guffaws, but give me a below peep Partridge over AN Other fake chat show host any day. I also want to see Jennie strangling him live on air. Come on Auntie, give him another series.
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