EASTER weekend may seem a touch early to start on the Christmas list, but if you are reading this Santa, I would like a gang of miniature Mediterranean donkeys, two pygmy goats, and six Cairn terrier puppies, please.
As seen in Matt Baker: Our Farm in the Dales (More4, Wednesday), all of the above items currently belong to Baker’s mum, a woman who was “living her best life”, as the young folk say, on a 100-acre organic hill farm in the Durham dales when she was knocked over by sheep. One knee replacement later, ma and pa Baker had another problem: how to carry on with the farm now they were getting on a bit?
Before you could say “shut that gate”, Baker and his family had moved in, the big sheep were being replaced with smaller ones, and the escaping donkeys had a new fence. Oh, and Matt – or “Matthew” – had a four-part series into the bargain.
Baker, who grew up on the farm, knew his stuff. I was particularly taken with how he could tell a good sheep just by checking its teeth. Had he adopted that method of screening guests on The One Show it might have saved us all some time.
The rebellion against Line of Duty (BBC1, Sunday) continues to gather pace. Too complicated say the disgruntled. Admittedly, my Carrie Mathison/Homeland-style wall is in danger of spilling into the room next door. Another show would pile on the exposition; Jed Mercurio is relying on past clips and fans being keen enough to dig into previous series again. Not sure how many people have the time or inclination to do that, though.
General confusion aside, I am enjoying Ted’s catchphrases this series. There is nothing to rank alongside sucking diesel yet, but his quips are taking a pleasing turn for the Caledonian. The first week someone was told to haud their wheesht; last Sunday he vowed to make Davidson laugh on the other side of her face. I’m betting next week will find Ted telling a crestfallen Steve that what is for him will not go by him.
If you have yet to catch the last episode of Unforgotten (STV, Monday) then please take yourself off on a Likely Lads-style match day odyssey till we are done. Thank you.
Was that a punch to the guts or what? It says much about the strength of Chris Lang’s writing that he could ease us so gently through the loss of such a major character as Cassie. He made it seem as if somehow we were always heading to this point.
Like everyone said, her legacy would live on. What of the programme though? I can see Sunny (Sanjeev Bhaskar, outstanding) stepping up a rank. His interview technique is the opposite of the ding-dongs on Line of Duty and the better for it, but Unforgotten without Nicola Walker? Tough one.
The Syndicate (BBC, Tuesday) was back for a fourth series. Not a lot had changed from series one to three of Kay Mellor’s drama about lottery winners, but why change a winning formula? This time the lucky (hopefully) lot worked at a kennels and loved dogs, so obviously they deserved to win. Plus, one was in debt, another pregnant, a third was homeless and the other one wanted her dad dead. Just your average workmates, really.
Mellor (Band of Gold, Fat Friends) is incapable of writing a series that is less than toasty and comforting. This time, besides the usual strong female leads, there was the added bonus of Neil Morrissey in the cast as Frank, a slippery newsagent with a bad dye job and the most gorgeous Irish wolfhound, Duke.
If you could overlook some of the unbelievable goings on (would Frank really have phoned the police within earshot of the taxi driver?) there was more than enough to merit a return visit next week. Duke alone would be worth it.
IF a little flattery goes a long way then the lads at Top Gear (BBC1, Sunday) could have made it to the moon and back after their trip to the Highlands. “As beautiful a place as there is on the planet,” said the one who isn’t Freddie Flintoff or Paddy McGuinness.
The Top Gear trio were here to pit the new Land Rover Defender against two rivals, the luxurious Mercedes G-Wagen and the open to the elements Ariel Nomad. This involved a lot of time trials and daft stunts, including delivering a new bulb to the Ardnamurchan lighthouse.
There were stats and other info for those who wanted that sort of thing, but if you only came for the craic and the scenery you would have left feeling quids in.
I much prefer these three amigos to the Clarkson and company of old, now flogging their wares on Amazon Prime Video.
The Top Gear crew might be rougher round the edges presentation-wise, but they are not lethally smug and you couldn’t imagine any of them punching a producer just because dinner wasn’t ready. Always worth a bonus in my
book.
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