IT IS doubtful if there has ever been a more colourful, controversial, almost comic-strip character to send his cavalcade careering into Scottish football than Jorge Cadete.
In 17 unforgettable months at Celtic, each with their own plot twists, the Portuguese striker accrued an impressive 33 goals, fell in love with a support who provided their very own theme tune, yet fell foul of the worst possible adversary, the club's erstwhile owner, Fergus McCann.
There was only ever going to be one winner in the long-
running, cash-fuelled feud, revolving around the reimbursement of the (pounds) 400,000 Cadete paid Sporting Lisbon to buy out his contract and move to Scotland. Money being the club's Achilles heel, even before the days of the infamous, crumb-containing biscuit tin, fiscal policy has again returned to haunt Kerrydale Street.
Central to the Martin O'Neill conundrum is the lack of finance available to strengthen his team and, thus, maintain the progress which might, in turn, lead to the fulfilment of the Irishman's managerial ambition. Without such assurances, and with some of England's most alluring club's monitoring his stalemate situation, the Celtic fans are bracing themselves for another hero's departure.
Having left on a point of principle - he alleges that McCann reneged on a promise to pay back, in full, the (pounds) 400,000 - he joined Celta Vigo for (pounds) 3m and failed to make any significant impact. Subsequent moves back to Portugal, and even a brief break in Bradford, proved equally unprofitable, in a professional sense. Though he maintains the decision to leave Parkhead was forced upon him, Cadete's story provides a timely reminder to O'Neill of the perils of the wrong career choice.
''I know there has been some concern over whether or not Martin O'Neill will sign a new contract,'' he declared, beginning a typically outspoken and, indeed, bizarre, chinwag from his Portuguese ranch yesterday. ''If he wins the championship for a third time this season and does well in Europe, then maybe he will feel he needs a new challenge and will return to England.
''I can understand that but he might discover that he will never again have the same feeling for a club as the one he had with Celtic. That is what happened to me and it is not a nice feeling to leave something good behind. At least this will be Martin's decision.''
The last comment highlights the depth of ill-feeling that still exists when contemplating the early demise of his Celtic career. Five years on from the almost surreal saga, when he took leave on medical grounds and never returned, Cadete remains embittered by what he steadfastly believes to have been McCann's dishonesty.
There has never been a definitive story, yet plenty of speculation and scraps of evidence to suggest mistakes on both sides. Cadete is not so philosophical. ''My biggest regret is not staying at Celtic for very long but sometimes decisions are taken for you,'' he said solemnly. ''Although I played for some big clubs after Celtic . . . this is very difficult for me to explain . . . there was never the same special feeling again and that makes me sad.
''I would have loved to play with Henrik Larsson at Celtic and been as successful as he has been for many years but Fergus made sure I couldn't do that. Remember, I had paid my own transfer to Celtic and, when I signed, I made sure it was in my contract to repay the fee. Fergus gave me his word and a year later he said he knew nothing about it.
''I never asked him for more wages but, after scoring a lot of goals in my first season, I thought I was at least due what I was still owed. My agent spoke to him nine times in a year about it and yet he would not budge, so that's why I had to ask for a transfer.
''I only ever speak the truth and, when you consider that Pierre [van Hooijdonk] and Paolo [Di Canio] also had problems with Fergus, you know who to believe.''
Football, as its cliched commentators tell us ad nauseam, is all about opinions. What cannot be disputed is the quota of 33 goals in 41 games which cemented his reputation as a tormentor of defences. McCann would prefer to remember him as simply a troublemaker.
Believe it or not (and much in Cadete's new life beggars belief), Cadete has a permanent reminder of his old adversary, in the form of a Canadian canary. A popular pet shop among his many entrepreneurial projects, Fergus McCann is, oddly enough, his favourite feathered friend.
''It is very old but still alive,'' he began, cruelly. ''It is a beautiful Canadian canary that sings to me every day. Fergus is not so beautiful and never once said 'hello' to me, even though we'd walk through the same door every day. I thought it would be a nice irony.''
A pet bird called Fergus is merely the tip of the iceberg for the man. After retiring from football last year, Cadete has become something of a television star in Portugal, lending his opinions to a prominent sports channel and risking his reputation in the Portuguese version of Celebrity Big Brother. It seems British viewers have been given a raw deal.
While we endured the banality of Les Dennis and the mincing Mark Owen, the Portuguese audience were hooked on an unexpected romance. Yes, Cadete met his new love in the BB house, and she's no Anne Diamond, either.
Nicole, a chart-topper in her homeland, might just be about to hit our shores in the next few months with Cadete's production company, another successful venture, behind her breakthrough album.
''I have been very busy since I stopped playing football,'' said the 35-year-old, who brought the curtain down in front of 500 Extremadura fans, having succumbed to the physical and psychological strains of a professional career which spanned almost 20 years.
''I agreed to sign up for Big Brother because, while they wanted a famous footballer to bring in viewers, I wanted to take the opportunity to show that some footballers can be intelligent and have more abilities than kicking a ball. It was amazing that I met Nicole there.
''We will be coming to Britain soon to launch her singing career there. She sings pop music and I would say she is very much like Kylie Minogue. We have arranged to go to London to work on her first album in English.''
So far, we have been spared Cadete's crooning but, not one to forget quickly, he has some other long-standing 'projects' he is keen to complete.
First, he canvassed this writer's opinion on whether there would be a market in Scotland for a charity release of 'There's only one Jorge Cadete', with the eponymous character on lead vocals. Answers on a postcard please.
Perhaps just as unlikely is his ambition to organise the second testimonial match against Sporting Lisbon, which was written into his original contract when he joined Celtic. ''It is something I have tried to arrange for a long time and I have had positive discussions with Celtic about playing it in April,'' he said. ''I have done no form of exercise for six to seven months, though, so I must get back into shape for it.''
According to Celtic's public relations staff yesterday, he is more likely to appear on Top of the Pops than take centre stage at Parkhead for one night only. Then again, stranger things have happened in the weird and wonderful world of Jorge Cadete.
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