n THE ''most impressive example of artificial life I have ever seen'', was how Richard Dawkins described the Norms - desk-top robots that cry when left alone, starve when not fed and breed when you're not looking. Stand back, Dolly and her sheepish clones: the annual Robotix exhibition is back, and it's in Scotland from Thursday until Sunday at the McLellan Galleries in Glasgow. This year's theme is Intelligent Machines.

Created by Cyberlife Technology, the Norms interact with humans physically and can even learn simple forms of speech; they'll be making their appearance well and truly felt at the exhibition. But they're not the only attractions. Others will be a play performed by American robots, and the UK premiere of a robotic reworking of Romeo and Juliet, played by ''vactors'', aka virtual actors.

Incidentally, these vactors are predicted to overtake over-priced human Hollywood actors (''hactors''?) on the big screen sooner than you think, according to guest lecturer Professor Robin Baker, author of Designing the Future and expert on the use of computer-generated images and special effects for the film industry.

Steven Doyle and Jamie Reid, whose computing careers began in Glasgow at the National Defence Laboratory, will be present to show off their new computer games - said to feature machines ''of such complexity of motivation that it's impossible to differentiate between human and non-human participants''.

The world of Boris -- Page 11

n IT'S MORE than 20 years since the last Hillman Imp was produced at Linwood and when the final car came off the production line in 1976 it marked the end of car production in Scotland. A special Ex-S programme on BBC Scotland tonight will trace the history of the wee car that was dogged by a reputation for unreliability - all because it was launched a year early just to fit in with Prince Philip's busy busy diary: he was to be at the ceremony. Nevertheless, there are still a few to be spotted on the road, and a thriving Scottish Imp Owners Club. Ex-S interviews a couple who got married in theirs.

n IF ONE OF your male workmates presents you with a gift of lily white underwear on Friday, run - unless he happens to be Japanese, in which case all he will be doing is following tradition. Friday, you see, is White Day in Japan - the day when men get to buy women gifts in white, such as underwear and chocolate. It's been established as the opposite day to Valentine's Day which is very widely celebrated in Japan and during which only women buy presents for men out of either duty or devotion. However, a spokeswoman at the Japanese Embassy in London sniffed haughtily when we rang to inquire about White Day (we'd naively assumed it was a rather lovely Japanese tradition). ''This is not a religious festival or anything like it,'' she said. ''White Day is purely commercial, thought up by companies in order to sell their products. It's not nearly as popular as Valentine's Day and most people ignore

it.'' So much for innocence.

n The willing victim of STV's Wheel Nuts car psychologist tonight is a Scottish nun. What will he reveal about her personality just by looking at her car? Apparently much more than we'd have thought. What would you reveal about yours if your car were subjected to his scrutiny? Time to hide those fluffy dice . . .

n The TUC Women's Conference runs from Wednesday until Friday, and a bid to boost female representation in trade unions tops this year's agenda. ''Women make up nearly half the UK workforce and yet only one third of all union members,'' points out Stephanie Power of the TUC. A report will simultaneously be issued that shows the number of women in trade unions could rise by 400,000 to 3.5 million by 2001 - and, say insiders, unions must start listening to women. Look out for reports of a speech from Janet Anderson MP, Shadow Minister for Women.

n The usual flow of homey ideas will be emerging from the Ideal Home Show at Earl's Court, London, due to start on Thursday and running until April 6.

n SPARE A thought and a prayer on Thursday for all the victims of the Dunblane tragedy.

n Friday is the day Scotland plays France in the Five Nations Championship at Parc des Princes, Paris.