Karen Dunbar, comedian

Which schools did you go to and when?

Russell Street Primary from 1976 to 1979, Newton Park Primary from 1979 to 1982, and bold Ayr Academy from 1982 to 1986.

Top teacher?

My top primary school teacher was Mrs Ness. I had a great French teacher at Ayr Academy called Miss Mackay. She was clever, funny, patient and took no shit.

Were you hard-working or hard work?

Erm . . . definitely hard work; most teachers were heart-roasted competing for airspace with me. I didn't pass many exams but made a career out of it. I loved music, though, and did quite well there, but I was rubbish at maths. Carol Vorderman has taught me more than I ever learned at school.

First team for everything or last to be picked?

I was usually picked quite early on as I was most likely to intimidate the other team.

Belted, birched or bawled out?

I remember getting the ruler in primary one for talking. When I think about a wee five-year-old kid being smacked with a piece of wood I see how ridiculous it was to try and enforce discipline with fear and physical pain.

Sad to say bye or longing to leg it?

I really liked school and despite my bravado - "I'm outta here, so you can shove yer school" - I did miss it when I left.

I floated about aimlessly for a while and then joined the Youth Training Scheme in the post office. Now there's a story . . .

What was your best, or worst, year?

My first year in Ayr Academy was rough.

Going from being the oldest in one school to the youngest in another in the space of two months was some shift.

What do you wish they still taught?

I'm always amazed at the stuff getting taught these days and, to be honest, a little jealous too. Our sexual education really did consist of a now infamous biology teacher pointing to a flower on a blackboard and saying: "And that's similar to what happens with humans. Right, turn to the page on photosynthesis . . ."

Girls on tour - what was the best school trip you've ever had?

We had a fantastic trip to London at the end of primary school. I'd never been before, and I remember looking out of the bus window and straining my neck to see the skyscrapers.