Fairbairn's scripted farewell

-- in a service of celebration he scripted himself.

The 61-year-old Perth and Kinross MP, who died earlier this week, had

stipulated that his funeral service should be spectacular and

celebratory.

''Since I'm not coming back, I would like the event to be a

celebration. I want no nonsense about 'Death, where is thy sting?','' he

had told friends.

His wishes were duly granted, but in a master stroke which even Sir

Nicholas could not have orchestrated, the family's Irish wolfhounds set

up a mournful howl in kennels outside, first as the crypt bell tolled

and later as the piper played.

The coffin had laid in the castle's private chapel overnight resting

on the Saltire. Placed on its top were Sir Nicholas's spectacles, his

pocket diary, his military medals, a sporran and the feathered Glengarry

which was his hallmark.

There were few famous names or faces among the mourners for a service

restricted to family and close friends, which included Home Office

Minister Michael Forsyth and Tory MP Sir Nicholas Bonsor.

The mourners arrived to find the baron's flag flying at half mast, and

a lone piper playing My Ain Folk.

The piper later played Cock O' The North, the regimental march of the

Gordon Highlanders -- his former regiment -- as his coffin was carried

into the crypt of the seventeenth century chapel, with its bell pealing.

Mourners included his first wife, Elizabeth, and their three

daughters, and his second wife, Lady Sam, and her son from a previous

marriage.

The Rev David Ogston, minister of St John's Church in Perth, where a

memorial event will be held on March 3, conducted the service.

The Church of Scotland is plainly not an organisation to bear grudges:

when a Moderator of the General Assembly some years ago dared to

question the merits of Margaret Thatcher's policies he was denounced as

a ''Satanist'' by a furious Sir Nicholas.

The minister included readings from poets, including a verse from

Robert Burns, which fitted the bill perfectly:

''Tho' oft the prey of care and sorrow,

''When blest today, and mindful of tomorrow;

''A being formed to amuse his graver friends;

''Admired and praised -- and there the wages ends.''

Long-standing friend of the family Sir Ilay Campbell paid tribute,

stating that much of the controversy surrounding Sir Nicholas arose from

other people's conceptions of him.

He admitted that he was a man of ''complete directness, unfettered by

conventional platitudes''. He went on: ''Nicky was direct, often almost

brutally so. He saw clearly what he thought should be done or said, did

it and said it -- usually flamboyantly, and quite often in colourful

language.''

Throughout the service candles shone in the gloom of a wet morning and

the crypt, which Sir Nicholas restored and which contains memorial

plaques to two of his children who died in infancy, was decked with

flowers.

The death of Sir Nicholas has presented the Government with an

unwelcome by-election in his marginal constituency, now likely to be

held on April 6.