PMQs is not rocket science; clearly.
The chief comrade spent his entire stock of questions, firing missiles to try to up-end the Tory regime’s forced academisation of schools in England, quipping how the PM had pledged to put rock boosters under it.
“In the light of widespread unease, including among his own MPs, it seems the wheels are falling off the rocket boosters and the Government is considering a u-turn.” One Labour MP laughed at the joke; which kind of said it all.
But Dave quipped back. “I have not met a rocket booster with a wheel on it but I’m sure rocket science is not my subject and apparently it’s not his.”
As Jezza continued his lonesome trajectory on schools, the comrades barracked the PM's dismissive answers. Dave urged them to “simmer down” and, to Tory cheers, snapped: “Perhaps if you could deal with the anti-Semites in your own party, we would be prepared to listen to you a bit more.”
He was storing up an attack, regarding the Bradford MP Naz Shah’s controversial remarks, which did not take long to burst spectacularly forth.
"Anti-Semitism,” blasted the PM, “is racism and we should call it out and fight it wherever we see it.” Tory heads nodded enthusiastically.
"The fact that, frankly, we have got a Labour Member of Parliament with the Labour whip who made remarks about the ‘transportation’ of people from Israel to America and talked about a 'solution' and is still in receipt of the Labour whip is quite extraordinary."
The Labour chief, who has refused to expel Ms Shah, sat arms folded, chewing what seemed like a very lively bee. The MP later, on a point of order, offered a profound apology but the episode has not help Jezza’s earnest declarations about intolerance of anti-Semitism within his party.
On a lighter note, when pro-EU Labour MP Ben Bradshaw raised the issue of Brexit, he referred to Ukip’s Nigel Farage as Mr “Farridge”.
Dave beamed, shot up and said: "I'm glad he takes the English pronunciation of Farage rather than the rather poncey foreign-sounding one that he seems to prefer."
Later, the Ukip leader – poncey, moi? - was quick to tweet: "What does the Home Counties-raised, Eton-educated @DavidCameron park his car in? How would he pronounce it?"
Of course, Mr Farridge missed the point. Dave doesn’t park his car; he gets his chauffeur to do it.
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